Faith's Golden

I have got to get better at this blogging thing. I either need to be better, or just stop altogether, either way.....

Faith turned 12 a couple weeks ago. Because I'm so on top of things (sarcasticgigglesnort) I'm posting about it two weeks later!

We discovered last year that she developed this love of archery. Since we live in an awesome small community where they don't outlaw ridiculous things like that, they were taught about it in P.E. at school and she said she showed some promise. We thought nothing of it, just maybe that was cool. We took a small family trip one weekend and stopped at a Cabelas and spoke with one of their archery specialists there.  He took her into this room, fitted her with the same bow they used in school, and let her fly...and she did....dead center every time.  After we picked our jaws up off the floor, and the specialist guy informed us she did have some talent, we knew what her birthday present would be.

We did a super fun Hunger Games themed party (and by super fun, I mean we did squirt guns and pools filled with blue and green colored water and water balloon wars and paint filled balloon massacres, not like actual gladiator style slaying of children for the benefit of a corrupt government...just in case anyone wanted to get all "judgey" on me) She turned 12 on the 12th of 2012, so it was her Golden and we did it up RIGHT!  Any chance for a "themed" photo shoot is awesome for me, so I worked up this little ditty of an invite, and we were on our way!

She's turning into this........grown young woman. She looks so old in those pictures it freaks me out a little!  I have a billion more pics from the actual party, but Verizon is a dirty tramp and it literally took about 20 minutes just to upload that one picture of the invite.  Someday I will have actual working technology out here....some.day.

We celebrated with 12 girls and boys the Friday before her birthday, and then celebrated with our families on her ACTUAL birthday and it was an amazing, fun and completely exhausting weekend.  I would do it all over again for her. She is such a good kid. She works really hard to rise above all that stupid preteen middle school girl CRAP that seems to just want to jump allover kids these days. Seriously......as I was told by someone once, dealing with middle school girls is like living on the dark side of the moon.  They're mean and manipulative and catty and I honestly want to punch most of them in the face if it were socially acceptable to do so.  I can honestly say that the group we had here (and there were 10 girls in that group!) were all fun and carefree and just genuinely seemed to have had a good time. No fighting, no whispering, no backstabbing, no leaving anyone out....just good clean (well....not clean clean since everyone left soaking wet and covered in paint) FUN.  We need to do that more, just show our kids that we CAN have a good time with them and their friends.

She ended Sunday night (the night she got her actual big, nice bow) by showing all the family how good she is at shooting.  She did really well til her arm got tired, and I think she shocked a few.  She hit dead center right from the start and my father-in-law chuckled and said "lets see if she can do that two times in a row"....she showed him, and he said "Well!  Guess she can!" She refuses to every kill an animal and says she'll never hunt with it, and that's totally fine. I'll continue to buy her foam targets for her to practice with:)

I have to now end this post since Verizon has shut me down like 8 times from the last two paragraphs.  A lot has changed since the last post, mainly I got an "actual real live job" and am taking a bit of a break from the photography.  Maybe forever, maybe not. It's just nice to have someone else responsible for my paycheck for a while.

Catch up

I feel like I'm in a constant state of "catch-up".  Except nothing...NOTHING is getting caught up on.  I run and run and run, and nothing happens.  The heat is playing a factor as well in that all you want to do is sit in front of an air conditioner and pant. And it's making us all...er....irritable?  Yeah...that's a good word for it.  Irritable.   In fact, the other night as we're all piled into the car, the kids, Russ and I, and the hundred-something-pound beast all in the back of a glorified station wagon.  Russ is out pumping gas and the kids are just pick pick picking at each other. Mae elbowed Faith in the face for like the 137th time in 3 minutes and I literally turned around and through gritted teeth and in my scariest voice said "Maebree...I SWEAR if you DO that again....I..will CUT you".  I have no idea where that even came from but she was not amused.  The rest of the kids and my husband were highly amused and laughing, but she actually believed me a little. I may have to break that out again in the future.

So, here's some bullet points of what's goin' down with the Houston's the past month or so...

• The House: Still working on it.  There are times I actually wonder if we bought The Money Pit. You remember that movie with Tom Hanks and the chick from Cheers?  "Two weeks!"  I hear it over and over and over again except two weeks has turned into months and months and still I have no closet or kitchen floor (well, I have a kitchen floor, but the new floor is sitting in the family room) and there is foil foam boards over my large windows because putting in the french doors is just not in the budget this year cause everything else came up and we have to deal with those issues first.  And were busy.  Like...reeeeeallly busy.  I just want to finish all the other projects we started so we can take a break for awhile.  I completely realize we have our entire lives to "finish" things...but I like things to be done and checked off a list.  I don't even feel like I want people to come over because it's still in construction phase.  I can't wait to at least get our room stuff done, then maybe I can post before and afters of those small things.  
• The Kids:  We just celebrated Emmy's 9th birthday, and we celebrated Mae's 5th a few months ago. I can't even believe this.  Faith will be 12 on the 12th of August in the year 2012 so we of course will be planning a fun party for that.  This summer is flying by.  We went camping a month or so ago, and it was...not a vacation but still fun.  Russ took on a racoon in the middle of the night, and we did get to do a little swimming in Lake Michigan, but it was kind of chilly and we didn't get to swim much. Isn't it gorgeous there?  Why do we drive 14 hours to Panama City Beach, Florida every year?  Geesh.....

They will all be in school this August. Everyone asks "What will you do?" and my honest answer is....I have no idea.  I really don't.  I'll discuss this more in the "job/career" section. 

• Jobs:  Photography is something that I love, but right now, I just don't like it very much. It's become a job, but people still treat me like it's my hobby. And it makes me zero money. Raise your prices you say?  Well I did, but then I get complaints that "Your getting pricey....I have to think about it" or my favorite "I'm gonna just get an 8x10 and I'll order more later and later never comes.  That's not a problem, except that I spend an awful lot of time per session (maybe a solid 25-30 hours from shutter click to upload) and when its all said and done, a $12 order just kills me.  It's frustrating. And I'm not sure if your aware of it, but EVERYONE is a photographer now.  DSLR cameras are affordable to most these days, and it's just one of those things people don't want to pay you to do it when they can "take just as good a picture myself" *sigh and typed with a hint of sarcasm* I've applied to several places, and we'll see what happens.  I have no plans to get a job til the kids actually start school, and I'm just praying that God will just intervene and the right situation (if getting a job outside the home is the right situation) will present itself.  We're fortunate in that Russ has a great job and the hours will enable us to not have to worry about childcare except maybe 1-2 days a week, and maybe only for an hour. Faith is getting to the age where she can babysit, so....we'll see.  I don't know.  I take each season of my life in stride and with a grain of salt.  Is this the end of my season at home with the kids, or not?  Ok...that just choked me up a little....
• Russ and I: We just celebrated (well....I guess we didn't "celebrate" because he was at work and again, I was chained to my desk) 15 years from the day we met.  Ah...that fateful day.  A coworker wanted to introduce us. He described Russ as a "not too tall, kind of 'stocky', country music loving, blonde hair, brown-eyed country boy" who was "perfect for me".  IF you knew me back in the day (well..and today even) you would know that was in fact NOT my idea of a perfect guy.  I walked in expecting to see a short, dumpy hick with a cowboy hat and spurs and I see this clean cut, muscley, perfectly dimpled smiled hottie and actually said the words "dang...if it doesn't work out with the fat guy, I will take him".  Thank God that fat guy never showed up, and the rest is history:) 
• Health:  Well....I'm frustrated.  I have dizziness pretty much frequently. Again, I can mask it well. If you are talking to me, you'll notice I'm leaning on something typically.  I've gained about 30 pounds since last December and nothing fits (thanks stressful house renovation) so were trying to excersize more, but it hard to even get through a workout. I try to get up and walk the dog, but it's dang hot.  And he doesn't do heat well.  IIIII don't do heat well.  So it's a bad combo.  I've ben dieting and excersizing for about 2 weeks and have lost zero...read....0.none.nada.zilch.nothing pounds.  And THAT REALLLLY makes me mad.  I feel like I need to make a blanket apology to the world:  Dear World. I'm sorry, I'm off the sugar. Which means Cake.  Which means you get to deal with a seriously witchy (read slightly psychotic) me for the next...oh....3 months. Maybe that's another reason I threatened to "cut" my daughter. 
• Beasts:  We almost got another giant. Like....put money down on him and it was t-minus one week and counting til the day we were gonna meet and bring him home. Moses momma went and got herself knocked up again (those two crazy pups can't keep their paws off each other! :) and looooong story short, the largest pup became quickly available due to a mixup with the original guy who was gonna get him.  For some reason, we thought...yeah, lets do it.  I mean...Moses is awesome. He was a fairly easy guy to train.  He's lazy and sweet and loves our kids.  I do want another, and it's the same parents, so lets just do it. So we did, put a deposit on him and waited.  Some friends and neighbors to my mom put a deposit on another in the litter and this would be their first. Their first pup together, their "Baby Brinks".  Then that week before they were due to come home, Little "Brinks" developed some stones in his boy parts and had to be put to sleep.  Can you even imagine having to make the decision to have your little sweet puppy put to sleep before you even had him in your arms?  UG.  When it didn't look good for him, Russ and I just looked at each other, shrugged our shoulders and said "yeah" with that knowing look.  I let her know if she wanted to take ours, they were welcome to him. We still have our puppy, he's just north of 110 pounds. I knew God's hand was in it because we didn't tell a soul (except a few family members).  We couldn't even think of a name for that little guy, and it was all, I'm convinced because he was never meant to be ours.  We were just meant to "hold" him for them so that when this situation arose, they wouldn't have empty arms.  So now they have little "Brinkley" in honor of his brother "Brinks" and in a few months Moses will have a playmate that he can actually play with on his level:)  Speaking of Moses...I'm just gonna say this: I wouldn't advise anyone...ESPECIALLY a male to just "show" up at the house.  He's taken on this role of "protector" and he very well might eat your face;)  He's pretty protective of us. Were working on it, but I do have to remember...this is what he was breed for.  Back during the Wars, these dogs were breed to stay home and protect the women and children, so they just gravitate towards that. It's in his DNA.   If you wanted to meet him...its a process.  He's not a dog you just go up to and start petting and getting in his face (you shouldn't do that with ANY dog fyi), that makes him nervous. I say all this and he just graduated puppy class with flying colors;)  He's not aggressive, but when that hundred-something-pound beast starts charging down the road at you, lips flying and teeth showing (only cause his lips are flying...he rarely shows his teeth) he can be pretty intimidating:)  I must say...I feel pretty safe walking around with him.  I rest pretty assured knowing nothing will try and mess with us! All that being said, don't you just wanna get up in that face?  ug:)

I think that pretty well covers most of whats going on. I know I've missed something. I don't really even care if anyone reads this, sometimes it's just therapeutic to actually type it all out. I have to go and do about 1000 things today before we get to go and sweat our booties off for cookouts and fireworks.  Happy Independence Day!  

Sweet Emmy-Lou

A ridiculously large amount of time ago, May 29 to be exact, my #2 turned 9.  I can't even believe that she is 9 now, but I guess that's what happens when you feed them, they grow.  She is our beauty queen. I can't even look at an image of her and think "Wow....wow wow wow...WHY are we not capitalizing off of this?"  I mean, yeah, I know I'm a little bias, but she's just stunning.  Everyone says she's the spitting image of me, but she's better cause she's got the best parts of her daddy as well.  She can thank him for those dimples, that cute button nose, and the thick, amazing head of hair.  

She's grown a lot in the past couple years, and I'm so proud of the young woman she's becoming.  We love you Emmy-Lou!!  

Bucket full of Beavers

Last night Maebree came into our room about 2:30 because of a bad dream.  This has become the routine as of late. I go into her room, pray with her, snuggle her a couple minutes, then head back to bed. I vaguely remember that she mentioned it was something about a plane and beavers last night, but I asked her again today in my less-fuzzy state.   Our conversation was as follows:


*Remember I type in "Maebrenese". And no, I make no plans to correct her speech.  That will happen in school and that will be a sad day for momma.*

Me:  What was your dream about again last night Pumpkin? 

Mae:  Well...Me and Faifey and Emmy and Mikayla were all standing by the barn and we saw dis plane go by and it was shaking yike REAWY crazy.

Me:  And...something about beavers in it?

Mae:  Yeah.  There was dis bucket and it came down and there were beavers yike ALL inside it.

Me:  Beavers. 

Mae:  Yeah.  And the bucket was dropping out of the plane and it was shaking yike REAWY a yot.  And the plane was yike going back and forf, back and forf (at this point, the hand motions are flying...baby girl loves talking with her hands). 

Me:  Wow.

Mae:  Yeah....and den yike they were flying the plane and it was just shaking...

Me: The beavers were flying the plane? 

Mae:  Uh...No..PEOPLE were flying the plane...

Me:  Cause beavers flying the plane would've been ridiculous.

Mae:  YEAH!  Anway, they were just dropping the beavers out of the plane.

Me:  In a bucket.

Mae:  Yeah. In a bucket.

Me:  So, it was like "I gotta bucket, gotta bucket full of beavers" (sang to the tune of "Pocket full of sunshine") wasn't it? 

Mae:  Uh...no...THAT's ridicuwous mom. 

Me:  Oh...sorry. 


Apparently beavers dropping out of a plane is very scary to a 5-year-old.

The "eye's" have it

We've been struggling with Emmy's eyes for the past few weeks. They've been red and itchy and generally kind of gross looking. I took her into the doctor a few weeks ago and we left with a diagnosis of pink eye.  Or so we thought. Picked up the  $8 antibiotic from Meijer and went on our way.  Only it didn't help and we were back in the clinic Monday.  Allergies...we think.  Back to Meijer pharmacy, $5 allergy eye drops....didn't work.  I called Monday evening and the doctor felt she needed to see a pediatric optometrist.  SOoooooooo....(after not hearing and having to call for the appt time, not because of her doctor, her doctor is the most amazing woman ) Tuesday we were back in and he diagnosed it as severe allergies with cysts inside her eyeballs. YIKES!   Glad we got it handled, glad we caught it before something really bad happened, and kinda sad that she's gonna struggle with it every year.  Back to Meijer pharmacy only this price tag was a bit different: $175.  One-hundred-seventy-five-dollars.  HOLY FREAKIN WOW!  You have got to be kidding me?  The pharmacist is soooo nice and tells me she had already called to see if there was something a little more affordable knowing we had been in there several times  and there was not.  I asked her if the drops were made from the urine of a unicorn and she laughed and told me no.

So we are on day two of operation "Unicorn Pee" drops and she seems to be slowly clearing up.  Thank God.  Hopefully she will be completely cleared by the end of the week and back to normal!  I am three days behind on my work (throw in a well-visit for Mae and 3 dentist appointments), I have just completed "Operation Stinky-Pup Clean-up" and am gonna have to tackle the pigsty that IS my house because I gotta start back allover again come this weekend.

I need a nap.

Spiders

I have this completely irrational fear of spiders.  It is my understanding that no matter what size the actual spider is, if I go to kill it (or even if I'm around it's general vicinity) somehow it grows 15 times its size, jumps on me, sucks all my blood out, traumatizes my kids who are of course going to be there to see it all, and then they will be left motherless orphans.  That's worse case scenario.  Best case scenario is it's supernaturally radioactive, bites me, and I end up like Peter Parker aka "Spiderman" and who needs THAT kind of pressure.  Not me. 

Well somehow I let my husband talk me into moving out in the middle of nowhere if nowhere was surrounded by trees and a creek and cornfields.  And all of those things are prime living places for bugs.  I don't "do" bugs.  I could handle mice.  I don't LOVE mice, but I'm not scared of mice.  I could set traps and throw them out when they are dead. I get freaked out even looking at a dead spider.  Well, we found some unwanted creatures starting to pop up when the weather got warmer. It's to be expected considering the winter we had. Knowing that it takes a minimum of 35 minutes for me to get up the nerve to even think about finding something to kill a spider with (and if it's on the ceiling, forget it, I'm out the rest of the day) and considering that my husband is gone for 24 hours at a time, and considering the fact that paying my kid $10 for every spider she kills starts adding up, we decided to call Orkin and have them take care of us.  The house and the barn...it's a bargain. 

Except that I'm starting to find spiders in our car.  I literally took my shoe off and smashed one while driving down the highway a couple days ago. It was God, cause I'm sure I would've wrecked had He not had something supernatural take over my body for a few seconds.  And it was one of those long, leggy (Not THE daddy long leg, but close) spiders.  These new POC's are  those fat, ugly, black and white ones. I'd google them but I'm terrified of what I would find out about them and I can't even look at pictures.  It's kind of like getting your medical advice off the internet.  Today I had to run a bajillion errands and I knew that one turd had crawled in between the back seat cushions.  I grabbed the Ortho Home defense and started spraying like an insane person. I'm sure our interior is ruined and there is a good chance the paint will start bubbling off the car, but the thought of driving allover Champaign with a spider waiting to attack me was a little more than I could handle.  I seriously considered trading the car in today and thought about how I could get up to Rick Ridings in Monticello and do it without Russ's signature and then realized that was just silly.  I mean...whose gonna give us any kind of a trade in with the car looking the way it does. It's a hot mess.  I'd at least have to clean the inside and vacuum it out before that. For now, I found a couple old slippers that I'm keeping in the front seat with me so that if one decides to crawl out I can smash it and hopefully not wreck and total our car or seriously injure our kids.  

Maybe I'll get a complete car detailing for Mother's Day.  

Pinterest Shminterest

Pinterest is full of a bunch of dirty tramp liars.  Seriously.  They give you all the fabulous ideas, and you see them and say "Psh...I got this. I can so do that" and you rush to the nearest craft store and develop severe "Craft ADD" while in there and buy a bunch of stuff and go home with the grand attempt to become the next Martha Stewart. Problem is...Martha is rich and pays people to be creative for her.

I found this extremely cute dresser idea for Maebree.  She's eclectic, and I thought this was perfect. 

Nice idea right?  Right.  Well...let me give you a little background on the dresser.  Russ and I somehow aquired this dresser when we were first married.  It came out of some family member of my grandmas who I believe smoked herself to death.  (it's sad....but true)  The dresser came out of her trailer and REAKED of cigarettes.  I don't even know how we managed to get the smell out, but we did.  We were poor, pregnant, and needed a small dresser to fit in our closet so it worked.  This dresser isn't even made out of real wood. It's particle board with a thick, contact-like paper that is SUPPOSED to look like wood grain covering it.  And it weights about 1457 pounds.  That might be an exaggeration, but it feels true. We used that dang dresser in our bedroom up til we moved when somehow Maebree acquired it in her closet because she really needed a dresser. Our kids have never needed a dresser because our old house had closets the size of bedrooms and we just hung everything or had it nicely folded in the shelves.  This house....all three need dressers, but I needed a bathroom first, so in order to save money...I decided I would attempt to revamp this one.  It's been in her closet, and it couldve stayed there, but she has so many toys, and I HATE clutter, so I decided that having a cute colorful dresser outside and all the clutter and toys inside would be a better idea. 

Here is the finished product. Poor kid, it looks like mommy was drunk when she did this. 

Before you start in on the "that's not that bad" speech...let me say this: the picture gives it TOO much justice.  You cannot modge podge over particle board.  it doesn't work.  Also, no matter how much you coat it, a 5-year-old will figure out how to tear it apart.  So I covered it in clear contact paper. And then I stapled it to the drawers (which you can see all the staples) And then I got tired of measuring so all my lines are crooked.  And then I figured out you couldn't regular paint it so I spray painted it.  I also spray painted the pulls.  It looks like mommy was drunk while refinishing it. 

Looks like Mae's in the market for a new dresser.  Side note, she loved it.  I know.....your shocked. 

Mr. McGreggors

Yesterday I had to go with Diana and *almost* do the hardest thing I would've had to ever do in my career.  I say almost cause it ended up that I wasn't allowed to do it due to "hospital regulations" (meaning they had their OWN photographer whom I'm sure signed an agreement not to help families sue in case of malpractice and will charge out the WHAZOO for pics)  I was supposed to go and take pictures for a family whose child was being delivered by cesarian and wasn't expected to live due to a fatal kidney diagnosis.  I was nervous and prayed that God's hand would be in it the whole way, and I firmly believe it was.  I prayed for a miracle, and honestly, a beautiful 6 pound 10 oz round faced baby girl was born alive, and lasted just long enough for her momma and daddy to snuggle her a little before she went on to be with Jesus.  She's perfect now, whole, living, and at peace.  The miracle is that she was a 6 pound 10 oz baby girl with zero functioning kidney's, underdeveloped lungs, and no amniotic fluid yet she thrived and lasted long enough for them to say goodbye, or rather, "see you in a while".

Di and I were a little, I don't really know, "shell shocked"  maybe?  It was weird. You know she's at peace, but her parents and little brother are going through Hell, so your not happy for their sake.  She decided to take me to this little shop, sort of an antique shop with a sandwich/lunchy place in it to blow off some steam.  That's where us good girls go to blow off steam....an antique shop.  Anyway, it was everything I could do to NOT allow her to buy Mr. McGreggors for me.  She wanted to, but I was pretty sure my husband would be all "What the heck are you bringing a taxidermied rabbit in our house for, and I would be all "Cause it's the cool new thing to do thanks to The Bloggess" and he would be all "Your insane" and I would be all "Your welcome".

Me giving Mr. McGreggors bunny ears. 

Then I came across this beauty and thought it was the perfect portrait to hang above our bed to cap off our new room renovation.  We of course would have our OWN names engraved in the tree, but then I thought...that would be taking a joke a little too far and there are small chances that he would actually like this and really WANT to put it above our bed and then I would have nightmares about deer carving our names into trees out in our little woody area and I don't need any more nightmares.  The spiders and other creepy bugs that come with living in the country are enough for me thanks.

Amazing wall art. 

Didn't want to end this blog on a sad note.




ADDENDUM

Di reminded me of him.  His name is Peter and I have no idea why anyone would buy him. He is "Shut-the-front-door" ugly.  I say that and Mae saw him and said "Awe! Mom!!  That's a cute lil funny bunny! He has freaky eyes!" sigh.....only her.

Hide yo kids...hide yo wife.....

She is the kid that picked a stuffed opossum instead of any other cute zoo stuffed animal that she could find.  I'll have to do that post later...

Five going on breakin'-my-heart

My baby girl turned 5 on Friday. Did you hear that? MY BABY TURNED 5!!!! I survived, but not without a little bit of tears on both our parts (she doesn't want to go to school, she wants to be four forever). I don't know what else to say except that I am both happy and sad at the same time. She's just the most unique and random child we have, quite frankly....in the world...and the fact that we get to be the ones to raise her is such a blessing! We celebrated with MANY friends and family with a "Tangled" themed party. Someday when I have adequate internet, I will post pictures. Unfortunately, I do not and am not able to post more than a couple. During this post alone, I've had to reset the "box" 3 times. sigh....

Here's her invite (benefits of mommy being a Photog;)

And one of her in her Rapunzel costume at the party. My sister decorated our new (made mostly and entirely by MEEE) tree swing into a princess swing and I got pics of all the little girls dressed in their princess best. She is wearing a ridiculous wig that she insisted upon that by that time had been to the dark side of the moon and back. HENCE the rattiness. But she's still stankin' cute. Even with the awkward "I want to run a muck with my friends and you're makin' me pose for this stupid picture" face.

And before it starts:

• NO, it's not time for another one. We have zero plans of continuing our family on in the human way. We are content with the girls God has blessed us with.
  
• No we are not "trying for that boy". In fact, I'm making a statement right now that if ONE MORE person makes that comment to me..."you gotta get that boy, you gotta try for that boy" as if we have ANYTHING to do with what sex of a child God gave us, I will...100% punch you in the face. Don't say it. Don't pretend that you are a messenger of the Lord sent to tell us how unsatisfied with our family we should be because we don't have any children with boy parts. There was a time I thought I wouldn't be, until he gave us Maebree, then I realized we are gonna be just fine.
• Remember that I will punch you in the face. And I fight dirty.
  

Mae's interpretation of Faith

We have the best Sunday/Wednesday teachers around at our church. My kids love going to church, even to the point that if we are sick or have to miss for being out of town, they are sad. That's a great indication of what awesome teachers there are to keep them interested and "plugged-in".

Mae's Wednesday teacher's are a couple in our church that are just the perfect example of God's love. They LOOOOVE our kids so much, having taught each of them at one time. They're grandparents, their kids are grown, but they always step into that class with joy and love every minute of it. They send our kids birthday cards and postcards from vacation, give them gifts, cut out articles in the paper that pertain to us or just think it would be interesting to us. Mr. Bill is a writer, and he always types out funny things Maebree said or did in class for me. I.Love.This. I never remember ANYTHING, so to have a hard copy of it to keep on hand and give her later in life is terrific!

Last Wednesday he found particularly funny, and his wife, Ms. Judy said it best. When you are teaching a bunch of 4 and 5-year-olds, sometimes lessons become a "Who's on First" scenario. He was teaching the kids about Thomas and how Jesus taught him to have faith. Here is the interaction with the kids:

Mr. Bill: Do you see what the lesson is teaching us? We should believe without having to see with our own eyes. That's called having faith.

Maebree: Faith is my sister. (Mr. Bill realizes quickly where this is going)

MB: Yes, Faith is your sister, but we're talking about something else here. The faith I'm talking about means believing without seeing. It means trusting God.

Mae: Sometimes I call Faith "Faithey" but, her real name is Faith.

MB: it's nice that you do that. It must mean you love her and have a special nickname for her. But I'm talking about having faith in your heart.

Mae: Faith isn't God-she's my sister.

MB: I know but what I'm.......

Mae: I have GOD in my heart. HE lives there. Not Faith. Faith is not God.

MB: No, Faith isn't God. That not what I meant. What I meant is that believing without seeing is called faith and.....(Mr. Bill realizes at this point that he is skiing fulls speed down an steep slope and is getting deeper and deeper in to the problem. Another little boy, we'll call him "J" raises hi hand. He wonders if J will say something that will help him out) J, did you want to say something?

J: Yes.

(long pause)

MB: Would you please say what you wanted to say J?

J: Yes. Thomas is Train Number 1.

(Another long pause. Mr. Bill realizes he has jumped off the slope and is now airborne)

MB: You're right J. Thomas is Train Number 1. Whose ready for craft?!!!

(MB looks at Maes face. He believes she was thinking "Might as well start craft. Mr. Bill is really confused and thinks Faith is God. He needs some rest")


I love our church class teachers. I am so thankful that God sends people to help teach my precious girls the things of the Lord. And I'm most thankful when they have a sense of humor and know when to quite while they're ahead:)

Hunger Games

Unless you've been living in complete exile, under a rock, don't watch t.v. or read a paper, or God forbid you don't have a Facebook account (so joking) than you've probably heard about The Hunger Games. I have a preteen daughter as most of you know, and she really wanted to read it (or go see the movie, as most of her friends did). I read everything I can before my kids read it. Literally....Its a good thing I'm a fast reader, because I have to read a lot. If it's a book about kittens or puppies or farm animals or anything with the names "Laura" "Ingalls" or "Wilder" on it, typically I trust it's safe and don't usually take the time. I did read Marley and Me before her, that was the exception to a puppy themed book. But this one....ESPECIALLY since it's so popular I thought I would read first and see what all the fuss is about and decide whether or not it was appropriate for her. I knew a little about the book first, so I knew what I was getting into. I would not allow her to read Harry Potter. The book is about wizards and sorcery and really....I don't mess with that crap. That scares me more than any hard core gore film because that crap is real! I won't let her read Twilight. I just thought it was stupid. Vampires? *eye roll, sigh* please. Werewolves? We have enough drama thank-you-very-much. I mean....don't get me wrong, if I had to pick a "Team" I'd probably be "Team Jacob" cause history proofs I like the beafier guys as apposed to the pasty, tall, and skinny ones. I admit, one night while Russ was working and the kids were in bed and I was stuck folding 10 loads of laundry with nothing set to watch on my DVR, it came on our trial of HBO and I watched the first and second one. **preparing for my stoning by all the cougar like woman who seem obsessed with it** stupidest.movie.ever. Wow. It is LARGELY enjoyed by woman MY AGE which is EVEN WEIRDER TO ME! I mean...yes...do I have a little cougar crush on Zac Efron? (not in the movie fyi) sure. Who doesn't? He's a doll. But I can't even imagine camping out at Beverly Cinema (Or Savoy 16 if your classier fare) to watch a movie with him in it. I don't get it, never will, and am completely fine with that. Sorry all you ladies I'm sure I have now offended. It's not for me. And with the growing number of teenage suicides out there, why would we celebrate a movie where (and it is a very small part) the girl is so distraught over her vampire leaving that she tries putting herself in danger, even tries killing herself just to see him again? Not something I'm encouraging in my girls. In fact, I'm encouraging that boys still smell and are gross.

Enough about that. Phew...feel a little better. Anyway, back to The Hunger Games. I read the book in two days. If I had an entire day to devote to it, I would've read it in one. Probably actually spent a total of 5 hours reading it. It's a fast read. I know some Christians are taking issue with it because, in their words, it's "children killing children". Well...........it's not that. In fact, that portion of the book so shines a light on how dark and evil things can get when we are lead by a sick, corrupted government. Here is my synopsis, and I will try very hard not to give away the entire book as I have a tendency to do:

The story is set in a time way off into the future. There has been some sort of war that has destroyed the US as we now know it, and the government has taken over and now controls everything. Food. Money. Education. Electricity. Who lives and who dies. Everything. *hmmmm...makes you think. Watching the news lately?* There were 13 districts set up, and the 13th rose up in rebellion against the government, and they wiped them off the face of what is now the Earth. As a show to the other 12 districts, they invented this twisted, sick, evil game called the Hunger Games, where they take two children ages 12-18, one boy and one girl, and make them fight in a battle until only one is left living. This is their way to prove who is indeed in control. The children are picked via a lottery, and our main character of the book, a 16-year-old girl begs them to take her, and sacrifices her life for that of her sisters, whose name was originally chosen. We now have a heroine, who is not fighting for the love of a boy, or a vampire, or trying desperately to be noticed by the popular kids, who isn't into witchcraft or spells. She's fighting for her family. She sacrifices herself, lays down her life, for that of her sister.

Now...do not get me wrong. This book never mentions God. In no way, am I mistaking this book for a "christian" book. It does have a little innocent romance between our main heroine and another boy in the game, but honestly, I read more romance in a Christian preteen series than I did this one. The main focus of the book is about survival. About sacrifice. And underneath, keeping a very watchful eye on the powers that be that seem to want to control us and whats most precious to us, our children. I don't think a child would get that, but it sure opens my eyes. Our very freedoms can be stripped from us quicker than we even know it. It can start very slowly too....really maybe makes me rethink that homeschooling thing:0) Don't think I've completely ruled it out! As far as the violence, it's a book about a war. Plain and simple. There is violence in war. I do not think it is appropriate for a very young child to read it. I don't think it's appropriate for a child who trends a little on the "violent side" to read it. It's not a gory, bloodthirsty book, but I know people struggle with different things. I will let Faith read it. I think it would be good for her to see a strong female character who fights for her family and for what is right as opposed to fighting for empty teenage affections. She was just involved in a situation at school where a boy wouldn't stop saying an inappropriate word and she wouldn't let it go, kept at him about how it was wrong and he needed to stop saying that word around her. He ended up slightly threatening her (principal was involved, no worries, she's safe:) but she did the right thing. She stood up for what she knew was right. And we're so proud of her for that.

Sooo...don't unnecessarily judge the book. (I cant speak for the movie, haven't seen it. My sister did and said it was excellent). If you feel convicted that you shouldn't read it, then don't. You have to do what you think is right for yourself and for your children. You stand before the Creator of all things and hold account those things you did, not those around you. There isn't a swear word in the book. It's very clean. But if you feel its' nothing but "children killing children" I would ask this: How do you feel about the 18-19 year old young person that is off fighting for our freedoms in Afghanistan? Or Iraq? Or anywhere for that matter? Do you judge him for killing someone who means to do the same to him or his troupe around him as "unnecessary violence" ? That is real life folks, this is just fiction. What's most scary is that it could become our reality.

Dear Me 6 Months Ago

Dear Me 6 months ago,

Put....the butter....down. You see, it's not worth it. Neither is the bag of chocolate you are holding in your other hand. Or the pan of brownies baking in the oven. Yes....they are good and comforting and in these trying times of moving and packing and thinking of all that needs to be done in the next four months, but don't let your waiste line perish. I've seen the future...and it ain't pretty. Your fat pants don't even fit you anymore and Spring will come early with 80-degree days before March is even over and you will have zero things to wear.

I know this love affair with butter, chocolate, and cake (sometimes with all three at once) seems like it's a good thing, but in the end, it is not. Because you will eventually get tired of it. You're stubborn and will refuse to go and buy something that actually fits, so instead, you will live your days in your sweats and old sports bras and the husbands t-shirts. He can eat a pan of brownies, gain 30-40 pounds and drop it like its hot whenever he wants, but you my dear....do not have that luxury. It will drive you crazy those first few weeks of fasting sugar. You will even feel like mini-chocolate chips are keeping your family safe from you becoming a homicidal maniac. It will be amazing to see all the variety of ways you use them. But you will eventually grow tired of those too and will crave something more.

So stop...do yourself in six months a favor and don't do it. Maintain your healthy lifestyle by eating mostly good stuff and only splurging once a week. The site of your neck alone (think Kimora Lee Simmons at her highest pregnancy weight.....*shiver*) will be enough to want to make an appointment with the nearest plastic surgeon to get the fat sucked out of everything everywhere. And you just don't have the funds for that. It is not acceptable to break out the maternity clothes as you are indeed NOT pregnant (in case that rumor was circulating), even though you weigh what you did 6 months into the last one. Don't do it. You'll thank yourself in six months for keeping with it.

SOoooo I didn't marry Kevin Costner. And that's Ok.

When I was like 13 or 14 years old, I went and saw "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves" in theaters with my bff Melanie (WHAT UP MEL!). Afterward, I developed this insignificant, small (read completely obsessed) crush on Kevin Costner. She could tell you. I wasn't sure how it was all gonna work out, being he was only like 30 years my senior and had a wife and kids, but...it was gonna happen. In fact...I was claiming that it was gonna happen. I had it all planned out in my mind. Somehow my work as a freelance actress and singer would bring us together on some movie set somewhere, and it would be love at first sight. I watched Field of Dreams over and over until I practically had it memorized. Don't even get me STARTED on Dances With Wolves. I even had the opportunity to go TO the Field of Dreams house on our honeymoon...and we drive all the way out there...see it, and my husband says "Eh...lets not go. I'm not really in the mood to walk through it". To this day it is a sore subject in our marriage. In fact...I'm still a little bitter about the whole thing..but I digress.

Anyway, I was obsessed with Kevin Costner. I stayed up all night watching MTV just for the SMALL chance that I might actually see the Bryan Adams video for "Everything I Do" (still love that song;) and got in really really really really big trouble cause I fell asleep with it on and got caught the next morning when my dad walked in to me asleep on the floor and some video with Billy Idol grinding someone somewhere was on. (I wasn't allowed to watch MTV, and that pretty much summed up why)

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves has been on some channel on TV recently and I discovered a couple things:

• It is by far the STUPIDEST movie I have EVVVVER seen. I watched like 10 minutes and wanted to hurl myself out the window.
  
• Kevin Costner has THE WORST hair ever known to man in it. AND he is practically bald. AND he looks ridiculous in Robin Hood garb. And he looks old in it.
  
• Morgan Freeman needs to work on his "whatever the heck ethnicity he is supposed to be" accent.
• I am a complete dork because Kevin Costner was not attractive in that movie. At.All.
  

I obviously didn't marry Kevin Costner. And after that debacle, I'm totally cool with it. No offense KC. You were still amazing in Field of Dreams. Dances with Wolves...eh. Open Range recently I rather enjoyed. I do believe that you have gotten better with age, but like a fine wine....my taste in men has grown better with age as well;)

Sewing Machine

In an effort to post something a little lighter than my last two "rants" (and so that people don't think I'm a super grouch...really...am a fairly pleasant person 95.8% of the time), I thought I'd share another funny Grandma P story.

I want my kids to always remember her as she is: The perfect amount of crazy. Not like CRAZY crazy...but sometimes she makes you wonder. She went to visit her sister in Florida this last week, and I got on the phone with her to wish her a good safe trip. Here was our interaction after some small talk:

Grandma P: Ooh..before I forget. The sewing machine is on my front porch.

Me: Ok.....

GP: It's on the left hand side by the front door and it probably has blanket over it. Make sure you get it this week. I set it out for you.

Me: Ok......

GP: You'll probably have to replace the bobbin and there is some thread in the needles and, well, everything you'll need to go with it is in the case.

Me: Ok.....

GP: I told your mom I'd give you some old patterns and stuff so you can make that stuff you were talking about. It's all there. Don't forget to get it so you can start working on your projects.

Me:...Uh....Ok......


*couple notes:

• I.....never said I wanted a sewing machine. I tried sewing a straight line once in a sheet to make some curtains and I couldn't even do that.
• I have no idea what a bobbin is and wouldn't know the first thing about replacing it.
• I never mentioned anything about patterns or any project I would be working on anytime ever.
• I will never tell her that I never said anything about wanting a sewing machine.
  
• I still haven't picked up the sewing machine...and she is coming home today. I fully expect to get a phone call scolding me about not picking up said sewing machine. Cause you know..those "projects" won't do themselves.
  
• Sigh....I love my grandma.

If anyone wants to give me some lessons on sewing...you know...in ALL the FREE time I have, I may or may not be open to it.

Petsmart Tramp

My dog is growing at a rate that is quite insane. He is now 60 pounds. And technically wouldn't be 4 months old until tomorrow as he was born on October 30. Did you read the part where he is 60 pounds and 4 monhts old? Don't get me wrong...I.LOVE.IT. I can't wait til he is this MASSIVE beast of a dog who just lays around and is goofy. What am I saying..he already lays around and is goofy. But I can't wait til he is 200 pounds and laying around and goofy.

He outgrew his collar, almost while wearing it. I have a regular collar for him and we use a choke trainer for walking and training and such. I have always used a metal choker collar and have trained many a dog. When we had the infamous HUNTER (that post still brings tears to my eyes), it became evident that in order to walk him properly, we would need a prong collar. His neck was so thick and powerful, we literally watched a collar shatter from around his neck when he caught scent of a squirrel. We do not mistreat our animals, and it was only used for training purposes. We tried the "Gentle Leader", "Halter", and a regular choke chain and he would either choke himself half to death, doing all kinds of damage I'm SURE to his trachea, or flop around like an idiot on the road we were trying to walk on (yes....I tried it several several several times). And dragging an 80-pound lab was not an option. So we tried the prong...and guess what...it worked like a charm. A two-year-old could walk that dog with no problems. He didn't pull, he walked next to us, listened to us, and was the MOST obedient dog while attached to it.

Recently I discovered that if Moses wants to go somewhere on a walk...he's gonna go there. If he stops suddenly, my shoulder is rapidly jerked out of place (maybe THAT'S why it's hurting...hmmm). He's also realized that he can start trotting ahead of me as well. I am a firm believer in doing what works with a dog. And if your going to have a large and powerful breed of a dog, you better train them, and train them well. I know that he isn't going to hurt anyone and his butt is just too big for him to be able to jump off the ground, but someone else doesn't. I need control over him. His neck and head AT four months is the size of a large in collar size. Did you hear me? HIS NECK IS A LARGE! All his weight is in his chest, head and neck (this is setting up my conversation. Bear with me) So I went to Petsmart and I bought a prong collar (with the plastic guards in order to not hurt his skin). I get to the checkout and here's how things went down:

Checkout Tramp: Psh....I hate these collars.
Me: Uh...excuse me?
CT: They just seem so inhumane.
Me: Hhhmm.....well.....I have a large dog. He is 60 pounds. And four months old. And he pulls and I want to keep control of him. I would say that inhumane would be for me to NOT train him and NOT have control over him and have him hurt me or someone else by NOT being trained properly.
CT: Oh...you need to buy one of those harnesses. That will help.
Me: Um. Apparently you don't watch Cesar Millan aka: my hero. What do they use on sled dogs my friend? Harnesses. Harness are for pulling. All of his 60 pounds is in his neck and chest...and pulling is what I'm trying to avoid. I don't WANT him to pull.
CT: I've never had a problem with a harness. I find it hard to believe it wouldn't work.
Me: (In my mind) Well your an idiot that thinks that dogs SHOULD rule the world you commi-liberal freak. (Actually said) Yeah.....Uh....did you not hear me when I said he was four months old? And 60 pounds. He will probably top out at close to 200, so I'm trying to get him good and trained now. Caaaause...he's big.
CT: Well....what kind of dog is he anyway?
Me: A Mastiff.
CT: Oh. Well...I'm glad to see you are at least purchasing the guards. We have an excellent return policy if you change your mind.
Me: (in my mind) What....the...hello kitty tramp? (Actually said) Thanks. This should be good.



So.....in summary: Perhaps if you work at a business that sells something you don't agree with you shouldn't work at that business. I realize that not everyone is a responsible dog owner. I realize that people mistreat their animals with different tools that are created to help them. I would NEEEEVVVER leave this collar on him for any time OTHER than simply to walk him. We live in the country and I do NOT want anything to happen to him OR to me or Russ or one of the kids if he decides to use his weight against us. He literally is the best animal we have ever owned, and I want to keep it that way. He is unleashed while on our property so he can roam and run and play all he wants (long as we are there to supervise him), but when we go off property, he needs to be controlled. Just the other day, our neighbors dog started charging towards us (I hadn't bought the collar yet, he just had the leash slip tied around his neck) and he stood between me and that dog and his hair started up along his back and he growled deeply like I had never heard. I quickly was able to snap him out of it (the dog meant no harm, he was just excited) but what if he had been bigger? At four months old, he is already VERY protective of us, and I love that, but I want it to be controlled. My poor gramma (the one who thinks "tweet" and "text" are interchangeable) is already nervous about the fact that we got such a big creature, I can't be having him misbehave around her or I'll never hear the end of it:)

So....here is the mistreated animal Petsmart tramp. He plays fetch with basketballs instead of tennis balls.

It requires two children to hold him WITH his "evil'" collar (yes...he comes up to Maebrees chest)

And he chews on leftover cedar fence posts for fun.

Poor dog. He's so mistreated.

The Mom War

****warning*******this post is probably gonna peeve (really to be honest, I'm thinkin' of the other word...but as I have to think about it in order to type it...I am holding back;) a lot of people off. And I'm totally ok with that. Totally. Cause it's my blog, and it's my opinion, and if Bobby Brown can have a prerogative, so can I.

I was trying to find some answers from the great Cesar Millan regarding my puppy's recent food aggression issues and I came across THIS CLIP. It is PROOF that you can apply some of the same principles from Cesar that you do for your kids! *note...I don't promote South Park or watch it...ease up people..it's funy** I often times joke that I'm gonna write a book on parenting. Not that I think I'm this amazing parent or anything, but more of a funny, satirical look on all the stupid things that people (ESPECIALLY first timer/newbie parents..myself included) do. Like....for example...The t.v. totally babysits my kids sometimes. When I need something done or I want to hit them where it hurts or I want to just simply take a shower without the company of tattling or other kids jumping in....On it goes. I said I wouldn't do that. I also said I was only gonna feed my kids vegetables and they weren't allowed to eat fast food and they wouldn't be sleeping in my bed when they first came home and that changed the minute I found out that I turn into a nutso zombie freak after zero minutes of sleep. The thing that really disappoints me the most about myself is that I was so uptight about my grandpa visiting when Faith was first born. He was a smoker. A serious smoker. He and my stepgramma arrived the day Faith was born, and they stayed at my parents for the whole week. Now, don't get me wrong, I know how dangerous even a little second hand smoke is to a newborn and I would to this day never let someone smoke in front of them. But I was just so uptight and almost ridiculous because I didn't even want him to hold her (though I did) knowing that he would transfer the smell of smoke on her. I hid in the backroom when we were there with her pretending that she was nursing. He died 8 short months after that visit of emphysema and that was the last time I saw him. I just think if I had known then that was the last time I would see him, that I wouldn't have been so uptight. I wouldn't have hid in my moms bedroom so that I wouldn't have to have them want to hold her. I don't think he even knew that's what I was doing, but I did. I should've soaked up that week as if I KNEW it was the last time I would see him. Clothes can be washed, babies can be bathed...but I will never have any more memories of my grandpa, and I wish I would've been more relaxed that week with him.

So onto what everyone else does that annoys me. Since I've proven in the past that bullets are my friends, I will break it down in bullet point. Most of these refer to those first time parents, some not so much. Enjoy:

• The "Organic" movement. I'm all for eating healthy. I'm all for a balanced diet. Half of the year, I try and follow one. The other half is usually drowned in a cake-drunken state and that's probably where all my grouchiness is derived from...hence this particular blog post. I get grouchy when I'm on the sauce...and by the sauce...I mean sugar. But when people get all nuts and "I'm ONLY feeding my family organic food" when it costs $8.25 for a loaf of bread but complains that they can't make their house payment, it tends to annoy me. And while I'm on it, really.....how do you KNOW it's organic? I have news...if it comes in a jar or a bag or is sitting on a grocery shelf...it' ain't organic. Cause in order for it to have shelf life...it has to have some preservative to hold it there. Wanna buy from a local farmers market or grow your own food (something we plan on doing this year) GO FOR IT! I applaud you. But please...dear God PLEASE don't start wearing Birkenstocks and hemp clothing and spout the evils of Walmart or Meijer cause I just don't wanna hear it.
  
• Epidurals. Seriously. This and my next bullet point is SUUUUCH a controversial subject with the likes of those newbie moms. Let me just start off saying: I had all three of my kids "au natural" and without the use of an epidural, pain meds, whatever. Ok...I'm sorry..."technically"(I was actually informed of this by someone) it wasn't "natural" as I had my water broke by a midwife with all three of my kids and side note: I felt every "natural" bone of their little "natural" heads coming OUT of my "natural" body. Two of the three times, I had a "natural" baby sitting my my "natural" intestinal track keeping me from being able to "naturally" relieve myself. My bags of water are like titanium steal and in order for things to move along healthily...breaking the water was necessary. I'm like a birthing warrior and if anyone else has the nerve to tell me that I didn't have them "naturally" again I will honestly tell them to kiss MY "naturally" white rear and go shave their legs. So....I'm all for a a woman wanting to birth without the use of drugs. I will tell my story when asked for it, and I will support ANYONE who wants my support regarding having a natural childbirth. It was THE most empowering thing I have ever done...but...you will not hear me spouting my birth stories (and I have stories...let me tell you) allover the internet or facebook or to whomever doesn't really care to hear it, and here is why: Not everyone has babies this way. I will never forget what the worlds most amazing midwife told me: "Whatever you have to do to have a healthy baby is what you need to do" including and not limited to: Epidurals, pain meds, screaming, cussing, biting, praying, cutting, scraping, chastising your spouse, ...whatever is necessary. I will use my sister as an example. She was recently diagnosed with MS, and stressful situations can/will send her into an episode or an exacerbation of her condition. Guess what? Yeah, childbirth tends to be a bit stressful. So she will be ordering an epidural at the door, and that is totally fine (fyi...she is not pregnant so lets NOT start that rumor). And you know what else? Even if she didn't and was 100% the picture of health and statue and STILL ordered an epidural at the door....more power to her. In fact, I only know of a couple people (my cousin is even more of a birthing warrior than me considering she delivered almost 11 pounds of rolling thunder naturally) who have NOT had an epidural, and they had healthy, happy, bouncing beautiful babies and they should not be looked down upon for making a choice that lead them to that outcome.
  
• Breastfeeding. Holy.freakin.cow. Aren't moms supposed to band together and help each other out? Are we not supposed to support other new or not so new moms and navigate those unsure roads of motherhood and all the crazy things that go with it together? When did we (and of course I do NOT mean me..cause I would never do this..ha...;) turn into such "witches" (again..I mean the other word cause lets face it...) regarding how another mom chooses to feed their baby? Unless of course they are choosing to feed their baby with alcohol or something equally negative, then by all means...get judgy. What really irritates me is when people who DO breastfeed have to shove it in your face...like..."Yeah...I'm sitting on a bench in the middle of Walmart and I'm gonna whip it out and feed my kid and its natural so just watch me and DEAL with it." Or my favorite "I don't ask you to eat in the bathroom, so don't ask my baby" First of all: Yes...breastfeeding is natural and the best way to feed your baby if at all possible. Again...I did it with all three of my girls. I loved the nursing experience, I did. And yes...It is natural. So is conceiving a baby and we don't do that in public. Urinating is also natural, but we have doors on bathrooms for a reason. I'm not talking about a woman who has one of those new fangled cover-ups (why do they make all this cool stuff after I have kids?) and discreetly nurses their unruly or hungry baby. I'm talking about those woman who INSIST that they show everyone their amazing (or in most cases..NOT amazing) new mommy tatas in order to spark controversy. I cannot tell you the amount of times I had to go and hunt down an empty dressing room in order to nurse one of my kids. I don't want to make someone feel uncomfortable. That's just how I roll because I think we've established what an amazing person I am. But while were on the same subject....if a woman decides not to breastfeed, why do we feel the need to chastise her and make her feel like she is making a horrible mistake? Really? It's been established that breastfeeding is best. No one is debating that here. But some woman simply can't do it, either because its a physical issue, or an emotional issue, or simply because *gasp.horror.SHOCK* they don't want to. What? Yes. They have other things going on in their lives and breast feeding is just something that they choose NOT to do in order to make things easier on them as a mom. AAAAaaaand it's totally fine, because THE most important thing is that THAT baby needs is adequate nutrition and a mom that is not crazy.
  
• Working Moms vs. Stay-at-home moms. I've been both, and they both suck at times. No joke. Currently...I AM both. I work FROM home, and it probably sucks the most. This is why I can't wait for my book to get published and go #1 on the NY Times best seller list so I can sit at home and eat bon-bons and make up new cake recipes and only take the pictures that I want to take. I don't wanna hear all your sad stories about how hard it is, they both are hard. Suck it up, pray about it, and decide what you REALLY want and go with it. If you have to work, you have to work. Make the best of your time with your kids and don't feel guilty about it. If you don't and you choose to make the sacrifice of staying home with your kids, do it. It IS a sacrifice, make no mistake, but don't judge another woman because she has to make the same sacrifice on the flip side.
• Home school vs. Public school vs. Private school: I've personally experienced all three. And all three have there ups and downs. I'm not gonna go into details because really, it's between you and God what you choose to do. I pray that we make the right decisions from year to year, and with the way things are going in the world, I will NEVER say I wouldn't do any of those three. Currently we are in an excellent community with an excellent public school system, but if I feel I need to pull my kids out and homeschool them, I'm gonna be open and do it. For the record, I don't feel that currently and the thought of it IS pretty terrifying, but as the title of my book says..."Parenting Ain't for *Wussies*...with a P" (title subject to change)

I think I've adequately offended plenty of people so I'm gonna stop here. Just remember, the next time you think you should make your opinion regarding one of these difficult choices made by mothers EVER DAY, just shut up. Keep your opinion to yourself cause chances are, you weren't asked for it. Remember that life is not black and white. You don't know what's going on in someone else's world, so don't make judgments for them. THEY will stand before God regarding the choices they made for their kids, NOT you. Live your life as an example. A successful life with God-fearing, happy, healthy children should be all the argument you need.

Presidents Day

I can't wait to throw up some finished pics of my house. Were close....so close I can almost TASTE it. Literally....as in drywall dust. Bleck. Soon....soon and very soon.

Russ and I don't celebrate Valentines day. We used to, back in the day when we had money and no kids and a house payment that was cheaper than most peoples car payments. He bought me jewelry (said he bought me all the jewelry he ever had to in our first year of marriage. Ha! Sucker.) But then kids came and the realization that really...its a stupid holiday and just another excuse for kids to get jacked up on sugar at school. Or for the card and flower companies to take over our lives. But we would usually still use the opportunity to have a night out to ourselves without kids. You kno, hit dinner and a movie, typical stuff. When he started on the fire department, his schedule didn't always allow for us to go out on actual Valentines day (which...really...is a SUPER large pain in the butt if you ask me). A couple years ago we went out on the next day we could which HAPPENED to be President's day. And it hit us: This is WAY funner. NO crowds. Half-priced chocolate. Restaurants to ourselves (which lets face it....neither of us are crowd/people fans). So the tradition began.

This year, my sister graciously offered to take the kids early so we could enjoy a day together. I thought I would fill you in on what a day date for a couple who have been married for close to 14 years (together 15) looks like. Enjoy.

• Dropped the kids off at moms at about 2, got out of there about 2:30.
• Headed to Prairie land feeds to buy dog food. We have a frequent buyer program for Moses's dog food. He's a beast. Looked for a new collar cause I almost had to cut his old one off his big 'ol neck. Didn't have one big enough/small enough (he's not an xtra large. yet)
• Neither of us ate lunch, so we were starving. All I wanted was steak. A GOOD steak. Cooked by people who knew how to cook steak. Decided The Ribeye was in order. I was under the impression they opened at 4.
  
• Drove past, realized it was indeed 4:30 when they opened. Crap. Hit ReStore to look for some more home improvement/Pinterest projects. (Pinterest...for those who don't know...is another website that takes over lives. My gramma would be so disappointed.) Found a door for our bathroom.
  
• Went BACK to The Ribeye. It is now 4:20. This is where things.got.crazy. We pulled in the parking lot and there were already several cars there. Three of them had people unloading wheelchairs and walkers. I'm not joking. We walk in to a crowded waiting area and realize that we are INDEED younger than everyone in there's GRANDCHILDREN. The hostess looked at us and I swear the conversation in her mind was "What the HECK are two insanely amazing and trendy young people like YOU doing in a place like this at this hour" (I did buy a new super cute sweater and did my hair). We got seated and had to fight a few wheelchairs for the salad bar. At one point a 350 pound woman in a wheelchair started choking on her bread and for a minute, my husband was afraid he would have to intervene and perform some firefighter like duties. I reminded him he would get the honor of "Fire fighter of the Year". He said he didn't want it that way. I said it would give me some amazing bragging rights at my HS reunion. We agreed to disagree and the lady drank some water and was fine. My steak...as an fyi....was amazing. I know of NO other place that you can order a well-done steak (shut up you gaspers and lovers of raw meat. I prefer to eat my food when it has STOPPED bleeding thanks very much) and cut it with a fork. Is the Ribeye an amazing, beautifully decorated, trendy, and fabulous place to spend a Monday night? Nope. It's not. I just told someone today that I am at the point in my life that a good, well cooked meal beats out fabulous decor any day of the week. And...it was a delicious meal. As we were leaving the parking lot, it started getting busy with a bustle of a less old crowd. Russ made the comment that it was a good thing we were leaving now, he just couldn't handle that loud, whipper snapper crowd.
  
• What's the next romantic place we went you ask? Well...we have 3.5 acres now, and all we have is a push mower. So to Lowes we went. I mean.....come on. It COULD'VE been Menards. But we made it special and *little* classier. Decided I looked pretty dang good on a riding mower. He wouldn't let me get the one with the reclining seat. Whatevs.
  
• After Lowe's, we hit Slumberland to check out a new bed for our room as ours is too big. The one we wanted was no longer on sale.
  
• Off to the mall. We went to the Sleep Number store to see what all the fuss was about with those beds. Russ was unimpressed. The lady sold me hook-line-and-sinker. Coincidentally, I am a 45. He's a 75.
• Macy's was interesting. After a disgusting ride on an escalator (have you ever looked down at those? seriously...clean them a couple times a year...bleck) we scoped out the upstairs home section, did a little dream shopping, I hit the bathroom, and then we decided that was all the mall we wanted to take in.
  
• We had walked most of our food off and were in the mood for dessert. We didn't want ice cream, and didn't really want to hit any of the Prospect restaurants, so when you think "baked goods" where do YOU think of going? That's right people. Perkins is where its AT! We sat, the waiter came and asked us for our drink order (We only ordered water) and I mentioned we should've hit The Courier. Russ asked if we should just go. I felt bad for the waiter. You see..its a Monday night. And there was one OTHER couple in the restaurant who was probably over 55 and I just wanted the poor guy to make his rent that month (as if my $2 tip would help). I said no....lets stay. Perkins was perfect for the ambiance for the rest of the night. The Courier was just TOO trendy a place for us to go at this point.....I'm in it for a good story, and I have become rather accustomed to eating with my senior citizen crowd. Almost no one was choking at this restaurant. So we stayed. My pie was freezer burnt, and Russ finished his mediocre brownie in like two seconds. Probably should've hit Courier.
  
• Hit the gas station to fill up the truck. Decided we should head home and feed the beast. He had been cooped in a cage most of the day.
• Waited for mom and Di to bring the girls home, made out a little (yes...people who have been married for close to 14 years SHOULD make out a little every now and then) put my fat pants on, and watched a little tv.

Now...ask me if I was disappointed in any of that? Cause my answer is a resounding no. We had a blast cause at the end of the day, we got to spend one-on-one time with each other when we RARELY get to. And after all this time, we CAN have fun eating dinner with senior citizens and pretending to ride lawn mowers at Lowes. He can still make me giggle and makes my heart flutter, and we just have loads of fun together cause he's my BFF:) I think the moral of this story is that people put too much emphasis on the perfect setting and the perfect place and really what matters is having the perfect person for you sitting across the table from you deciding on whether or not your going to have to give someone the Heimlich.

IIII'MMMMM BAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAACK!

No we're not dead. Just ridiculously and insanely busy. Sunup to sundown is spent working our tails off on "projects". Well actually, it's more Russ that is doing the "project-ing" and it's me that's running interference with smaller creatures of our house, furry and skinned. And by running interference I really mean cleaning up buckets of urine between the house-training puppy, the weak bladdered Chippy, and the four-year-old who often replies "Just a yiddle" to the question "did you pee?" Some day urine will no longer rule my life.

Here are a few things you may have missed whilst we were gone (and I say this as if anyone actually reads my blog and I have followers who are waiting with bated breath for me to post something, anything that would interest them. Just give me my fantasy people):

• Most obvious: We have a new address. It's awesome, or will BE awesome when the freezing cold winter and construction projects are all over and it's painted and pretty and done. Which were pretty much banking on that being July of 2014. Everyone has to have a goal. If you want to see the progress, Check HERE periodically. I have stupid rural internet, so pictures are not something that upload nicely. You can also see some of the "before" pictures HERE. Side note: We moved in on a random Tuesday, so finding help to move was not really simple. My mom took the WEEK off to help us pack and move...THE WEEK! And my brother so graciously took the day off work, and my future-brother-in-law stayed an extra day to help move. I came home and both boys (I say boys cause I am sure that I outweigh them both) had COMPLETELY emptied one truck and were starting on the other which they COMPLETELY emptied before Russ got back with appliances. They used getting Russ's approval to my advantage;) Nice.
• Christmas happened. That lead to a new furry family member which I documented in a previous post. Honestly...hands down...best puppy ever. Were still dealing with a few "puppy" issues, but he's been pretty awesome. He gains about a pound a day...a POUND A DAYYYY! Yikes. You can see how big he is getting and how fast he is getting that way HERE. That would be the mobile uploads album on facebook for those of you who are not my friend. Periodically I will also upload funny pictures of sheer randomness.
  
• New Years happened. And when that New Year happened, I gained a new soon-to-be-brother-in-law. Yeah! He called me on New Years Eve (while I was building a wardrobe insert and hadn't showered in what seemed like 12 years) and asked on a whim if I would give him some advice on ring shopping. I finished building said crappy Menards wardrobe, jumped in the shower, and rushed to meet him. He picked an insanely gorgeous and sparkly ring, tied it around Millie's neck and popped the question at midnight. Super cute. There are pictures documenting it all and it is pretty special. If you don't know who Millie is, that is Diana's cat (ironically who's real name is "Millenium" since SHE came around New year 2000) who also seems to love ham sandwiches.
• Menards owns us. Jerks. Single-handedly I think we are keeping their employees employed.
• Still struggling with the dizziness, and it seems to be a tad worse. I just have to push through it as time is not something I have to go and make attempts at figuring it out. I've done a good job of masking it, most people don't even know it's bothering me when it is. I figure if I pass out while in conversation with someone, at least they'll know I wasn't just faking it. And I can sue those hookers at Carle for passing the buck.
  
• My Grandma is trying to kill me. Seriously. She keeps giving me donuts and coffee cakes and bread and all the sugary, carb loaded crap she can find. She "says" it's for the kids so I don't have to worry about breakfast in the morning and it's quick and easy. I basically have a freezer full of cake people. Cake. I might as well have a freezer full of crack or heroine. If you cut me, I would bleed powdered sugar right this instant. Between that and the People magazines, she's trying her best to turn me into one of those poor people who have to be fork-lifted out of their homes just to go to the doctor, where I will be surrounded by empty boxes of Entemans products and People magazines from 1998. Don't get me wrong, she means well. The poor woman just doesn't understand. I mean, she gets "texting" and "tweeting" mixed up. Here is a conversation we had just not that long ago.
  

Gramma: Misty, tweet your mom and ask if she is stopping by.
Misty: I'm not on Twitter gramma. Do you mean text?
Gramma: No...tweet her, you know, send her a message?
Misty: Yeah...that's texting. Tweeting has to do with Twitter, which is basically
like Facebook and another way for the internet to rule people's lives.
Gramma: Oh, well don't do that. You guys spend to much time on that
internet anyway. Just call her and ask her. Nobody picks up
the phone to call people anymore.
Misty: Ok...I think she's in a meeting still, but I'll call her and leave a message.
Gramma: Oh don't do that...just tweet her. She'll get it later.
Misty: Sigh.....ok.

• Still on my photography hiatus, but BURSTING with excitement about starting up again. I have a couple sessions scheduled in Feburary, but I will probably not jump in full time until March. This property in the Spring so promises to bring some amazing shoots, I just cannot wait. I'm waiting and praying about the direction that I need to take this year. Last year was a constant game of catch up. I am going to have to do things different this year. It is no longer a hobby...it's a job. It's a business. It's how I'm feeding my family, or paying for my car insurance and quite frankly that is going to have to come with a price increase. Nothing drastic, but I can't hide behind the "I'm just starting out and want to build my portfolio" excuse anymore. I think if I figured it up, last year what I made and the hours put into it, I basically made $.50/hour. Half of a dollar. Ridiculous.

So....that pretty well sums up life right now. We have amazing family and friends that have been INSTRUMENTAL in helping us get to where we are. Without you guys, we would still have the moving trucks parked in the barn full of crap:)