Alpaca-Palooza

So we are either really clinically insane or we are really super smart or possibly somewhere in between.   We went to visit the alpacas and I don't know if there was some weird alpaca loving chemicals in the air or there was a lapse in our thinking for 20 minutes but we walked out of a barn somewhere in Indiana and the next thing we know is we are the owners of 3 alpacas, eating some lunch at Cracker Barrel and freaking out about it. I vaguely remember standing in the middle of about like 100-200 female ones and my husband saying "just pick two and lets go!", but my brain is a little bit fuzzy on the whole situation.  The kids immediatly picked their names so apparently there is no turning back.  

"What do you plan on doing with these animals?" you may be asking.  Well we plan to shear them and sell their wool, and we also plan to breed them. I'm also looking into "studding out" Lil Sebastian (that's our male....thanks "Parks and Rec") in order to recoup some of the cost we are incurring to set our place up for these creatures.  I am getting their papers soon and hopefully will be able to figure out the start of that whole process.  

We don't have possession of them yet as we were really not planning on buying them JUST yet, but hopefully by the end of the month...they will be home!   So without further ado, here are the new members of our family: 

Lil Sebastian and his hair pants. He's a genuine STUD-Muffin.

Me tagging Shadow...she's kind of shy but probably has the sweetest of all their personalities.

Lil Sebastian rolling around in the dirt and being all rascaly.  I think he was overcome with joy that we now own him.

Tina chillaxin in the barn.  She will be shorn before we get her. And yes she was named after Tina on Napoleon Dynamite.

My parents are hiding something from me.

I disappeared again. Apparently that's what I do when I'm frustrated. I disappear. I don't feel like being funny or witty or comical. I'm just mad.  For those interested, my colonoscopy was inconclusive.  Then I went another route they suggested and had a laparoscopy and that showed everything "appeared normal" as well. So....I've gone nowhere and found out nothing.  I should be happy that everything "appears normal" but it's NOT normal, so its just frustrating. 

Moving beyond that, things have been crazy. At some point I need to dig out the pictures of my eldest being a total rockstar and going to state in track and then graduating from 8th grade on the honor roll. Then my middle one turned 11 and we had a fun big bash for both.  I'll get to that someday.  Maybe when the eldest is graduating from high school and the middle one is 15 and even more full of teenage angst then she currently is.  I have found myself humming "Jesus Take the Wheel" way more often than normal lately.  The kids don't find it amusing.

Tomorrow, we are going to look at alpacas.  "What are alpacas?" you say?  Well....they are this:

They are just so cute I just can't even. It is my dream to own alpacas and be a modern day alpaca shepherdess.  "Misty, that is ridiculous and that is not even a thing"  you say?  Lies. It IS a thing....and I have found my calling.  My friend at work made me this awesome "dream board" of images she googled that show what a "modern day alpaca shepherdess" should look like. 

I'm not sure...but....I think that most of those shepherdesses live in Peru or something. I don't know that our climate could handle all the wool, and they seem kind of like 90 years old on average.  But the hats are awesome and someday I'm completely confident that I will have one on my desk when I arrive to work.  Who wouldn't want a hat you can stick stuff in like pens or paper clips or a snack.  The most disturbing imags I found was the one to the right......Here's a better view:

My parents are hiding something from me and I think I have a long lost twin.  I'm like 99% sure that's not me. The other 1% is in case someone drugged me, put me in a FABULOUS alpaca wedding dress and then had me marry a sheep in Switzerland carrying a staff and everything. My memory is kind of hazy  but I think I would remember that.  The only other logical conclusion is that I have a twin that is now living in Switzerland with her sheep-husband or I have been cloned.  Scary stuff.

It just hit me that it was rude to assume the woman in the picture is married to the sheep.  For all I know, it could be her flower-sheep or ring-bearer-sheep and in that case it's a lot less disturbing and a lot more awesome.

I'm totally getting a staff covered in roses.  I think I will pass on the dress. It seems hot and itchy.