Spiders

I have this completely irrational fear of spiders.  It is my understanding that no matter what size the actual spider is, if I go to kill it (or even if I'm around it's general vicinity) somehow it grows 15 times its size, jumps on me, sucks all my blood out, traumatizes my kids who are of course going to be there to see it all, and then they will be left motherless orphans.  That's worse case scenario.  Best case scenario is it's supernaturally radioactive, bites me, and I end up like Peter Parker aka "Spiderman" and who needs THAT kind of pressure.  Not me. 

Well somehow I let my husband talk me into moving out in the middle of nowhere if nowhere was surrounded by trees and a creek and cornfields.  And all of those things are prime living places for bugs.  I don't "do" bugs.  I could handle mice.  I don't LOVE mice, but I'm not scared of mice.  I could set traps and throw them out when they are dead. I get freaked out even looking at a dead spider.  Well, we found some unwanted creatures starting to pop up when the weather got warmer. It's to be expected considering the winter we had. Knowing that it takes a minimum of 35 minutes for me to get up the nerve to even think about finding something to kill a spider with (and if it's on the ceiling, forget it, I'm out the rest of the day) and considering that my husband is gone for 24 hours at a time, and considering the fact that paying my kid $10 for every spider she kills starts adding up, we decided to call Orkin and have them take care of us.  The house and the barn...it's a bargain. 

Except that I'm starting to find spiders in our car.  I literally took my shoe off and smashed one while driving down the highway a couple days ago. It was God, cause I'm sure I would've wrecked had He not had something supernatural take over my body for a few seconds.  And it was one of those long, leggy (Not THE daddy long leg, but close) spiders.  These new POC's are  those fat, ugly, black and white ones. I'd google them but I'm terrified of what I would find out about them and I can't even look at pictures.  It's kind of like getting your medical advice off the internet.  Today I had to run a bajillion errands and I knew that one turd had crawled in between the back seat cushions.  I grabbed the Ortho Home defense and started spraying like an insane person. I'm sure our interior is ruined and there is a good chance the paint will start bubbling off the car, but the thought of driving allover Champaign with a spider waiting to attack me was a little more than I could handle.  I seriously considered trading the car in today and thought about how I could get up to Rick Ridings in Monticello and do it without Russ's signature and then realized that was just silly.  I mean...whose gonna give us any kind of a trade in with the car looking the way it does. It's a hot mess.  I'd at least have to clean the inside and vacuum it out before that. For now, I found a couple old slippers that I'm keeping in the front seat with me so that if one decides to crawl out I can smash it and hopefully not wreck and total our car or seriously injure our kids.  

Maybe I'll get a complete car detailing for Mother's Day.