The Mom War

****warning*******this post is probably gonna peeve (really to be honest, I'm thinkin' of the other word...but as I have to think about it in order to type it...I am holding back;) a lot of people off. And I'm totally ok with that. Totally. Cause it's my blog, and it's my opinion, and if Bobby Brown can have a prerogative, so can I.

I was trying to find some answers from the great Cesar Millan regarding my puppy's recent food aggression issues and I came across THIS CLIP. It is PROOF that you can apply some of the same principles from Cesar that you do for your kids! *note...I don't promote South Park or watch it...ease up people..it's funy** I often times joke that I'm gonna write a book on parenting. Not that I think I'm this amazing parent or anything, but more of a funny, satirical look on all the stupid things that people (ESPECIALLY first timer/newbie parents..myself included) do. Like....for example...The t.v. totally babysits my kids sometimes. When I need something done or I want to hit them where it hurts or I want to just simply take a shower without the company of tattling or other kids jumping in....On it goes. I said I wouldn't do that. I also said I was only gonna feed my kids vegetables and they weren't allowed to eat fast food and they wouldn't be sleeping in my bed when they first came home and that changed the minute I found out that I turn into a nutso zombie freak after zero minutes of sleep. The thing that really disappoints me the most about myself is that I was so uptight about my grandpa visiting when Faith was first born. He was a smoker. A serious smoker. He and my stepgramma arrived the day Faith was born, and they stayed at my parents for the whole week. Now, don't get me wrong, I know how dangerous even a little second hand smoke is to a newborn and I would to this day never let someone smoke in front of them. But I was just so uptight and almost ridiculous because I didn't even want him to hold her (though I did) knowing that he would transfer the smell of smoke on her. I hid in the backroom when we were there with her pretending that she was nursing. He died 8 short months after that visit of emphysema and that was the last time I saw him. I just think if I had known then that was the last time I would see him, that I wouldn't have been so uptight. I wouldn't have hid in my moms bedroom so that I wouldn't have to have them want to hold her. I don't think he even knew that's what I was doing, but I did. I should've soaked up that week as if I KNEW it was the last time I would see him. Clothes can be washed, babies can be bathed...but I will never have any more memories of my grandpa, and I wish I would've been more relaxed that week with him.

So onto what everyone else does that annoys me. Since I've proven in the past that bullets are my friends, I will break it down in bullet point. Most of these refer to those first time parents, some not so much. Enjoy:

• The "Organic" movement. I'm all for eating healthy. I'm all for a balanced diet. Half of the year, I try and follow one. The other half is usually drowned in a cake-drunken state and that's probably where all my grouchiness is derived from...hence this particular blog post. I get grouchy when I'm on the sauce...and by the sauce...I mean sugar. But when people get all nuts and "I'm ONLY feeding my family organic food" when it costs $8.25 for a loaf of bread but complains that they can't make their house payment, it tends to annoy me. And while I'm on it, really.....how do you KNOW it's organic? I have news...if it comes in a jar or a bag or is sitting on a grocery shelf...it' ain't organic. Cause in order for it to have shelf life...it has to have some preservative to hold it there. Wanna buy from a local farmers market or grow your own food (something we plan on doing this year) GO FOR IT! I applaud you. But please...dear God PLEASE don't start wearing Birkenstocks and hemp clothing and spout the evils of Walmart or Meijer cause I just don't wanna hear it.
  
• Epidurals. Seriously. This and my next bullet point is SUUUUCH a controversial subject with the likes of those newbie moms. Let me just start off saying: I had all three of my kids "au natural" and without the use of an epidural, pain meds, whatever. Ok...I'm sorry..."technically"(I was actually informed of this by someone) it wasn't "natural" as I had my water broke by a midwife with all three of my kids and side note: I felt every "natural" bone of their little "natural" heads coming OUT of my "natural" body. Two of the three times, I had a "natural" baby sitting my my "natural" intestinal track keeping me from being able to "naturally" relieve myself. My bags of water are like titanium steal and in order for things to move along healthily...breaking the water was necessary. I'm like a birthing warrior and if anyone else has the nerve to tell me that I didn't have them "naturally" again I will honestly tell them to kiss MY "naturally" white rear and go shave their legs. So....I'm all for a a woman wanting to birth without the use of drugs. I will tell my story when asked for it, and I will support ANYONE who wants my support regarding having a natural childbirth. It was THE most empowering thing I have ever done...but...you will not hear me spouting my birth stories (and I have stories...let me tell you) allover the internet or facebook or to whomever doesn't really care to hear it, and here is why: Not everyone has babies this way. I will never forget what the worlds most amazing midwife told me: "Whatever you have to do to have a healthy baby is what you need to do" including and not limited to: Epidurals, pain meds, screaming, cussing, biting, praying, cutting, scraping, chastising your spouse, ...whatever is necessary. I will use my sister as an example. She was recently diagnosed with MS, and stressful situations can/will send her into an episode or an exacerbation of her condition. Guess what? Yeah, childbirth tends to be a bit stressful. So she will be ordering an epidural at the door, and that is totally fine (fyi...she is not pregnant so lets NOT start that rumor). And you know what else? Even if she didn't and was 100% the picture of health and statue and STILL ordered an epidural at the door....more power to her. In fact, I only know of a couple people (my cousin is even more of a birthing warrior than me considering she delivered almost 11 pounds of rolling thunder naturally) who have NOT had an epidural, and they had healthy, happy, bouncing beautiful babies and they should not be looked down upon for making a choice that lead them to that outcome.
  
• Breastfeeding. Holy.freakin.cow. Aren't moms supposed to band together and help each other out? Are we not supposed to support other new or not so new moms and navigate those unsure roads of motherhood and all the crazy things that go with it together? When did we (and of course I do NOT mean me..cause I would never do this..ha...;) turn into such "witches" (again..I mean the other word cause lets face it...) regarding how another mom chooses to feed their baby? Unless of course they are choosing to feed their baby with alcohol or something equally negative, then by all means...get judgy. What really irritates me is when people who DO breastfeed have to shove it in your face...like..."Yeah...I'm sitting on a bench in the middle of Walmart and I'm gonna whip it out and feed my kid and its natural so just watch me and DEAL with it." Or my favorite "I don't ask you to eat in the bathroom, so don't ask my baby" First of all: Yes...breastfeeding is natural and the best way to feed your baby if at all possible. Again...I did it with all three of my girls. I loved the nursing experience, I did. And yes...It is natural. So is conceiving a baby and we don't do that in public. Urinating is also natural, but we have doors on bathrooms for a reason. I'm not talking about a woman who has one of those new fangled cover-ups (why do they make all this cool stuff after I have kids?) and discreetly nurses their unruly or hungry baby. I'm talking about those woman who INSIST that they show everyone their amazing (or in most cases..NOT amazing) new mommy tatas in order to spark controversy. I cannot tell you the amount of times I had to go and hunt down an empty dressing room in order to nurse one of my kids. I don't want to make someone feel uncomfortable. That's just how I roll because I think we've established what an amazing person I am. But while were on the same subject....if a woman decides not to breastfeed, why do we feel the need to chastise her and make her feel like she is making a horrible mistake? Really? It's been established that breastfeeding is best. No one is debating that here. But some woman simply can't do it, either because its a physical issue, or an emotional issue, or simply because *gasp.horror.SHOCK* they don't want to. What? Yes. They have other things going on in their lives and breast feeding is just something that they choose NOT to do in order to make things easier on them as a mom. AAAAaaaand it's totally fine, because THE most important thing is that THAT baby needs is adequate nutrition and a mom that is not crazy.
  
• Working Moms vs. Stay-at-home moms. I've been both, and they both suck at times. No joke. Currently...I AM both. I work FROM home, and it probably sucks the most. This is why I can't wait for my book to get published and go #1 on the NY Times best seller list so I can sit at home and eat bon-bons and make up new cake recipes and only take the pictures that I want to take. I don't wanna hear all your sad stories about how hard it is, they both are hard. Suck it up, pray about it, and decide what you REALLY want and go with it. If you have to work, you have to work. Make the best of your time with your kids and don't feel guilty about it. If you don't and you choose to make the sacrifice of staying home with your kids, do it. It IS a sacrifice, make no mistake, but don't judge another woman because she has to make the same sacrifice on the flip side.
• Home school vs. Public school vs. Private school: I've personally experienced all three. And all three have there ups and downs. I'm not gonna go into details because really, it's between you and God what you choose to do. I pray that we make the right decisions from year to year, and with the way things are going in the world, I will NEVER say I wouldn't do any of those three. Currently we are in an excellent community with an excellent public school system, but if I feel I need to pull my kids out and homeschool them, I'm gonna be open and do it. For the record, I don't feel that currently and the thought of it IS pretty terrifying, but as the title of my book says..."Parenting Ain't for *Wussies*...with a P" (title subject to change)

I think I've adequately offended plenty of people so I'm gonna stop here. Just remember, the next time you think you should make your opinion regarding one of these difficult choices made by mothers EVER DAY, just shut up. Keep your opinion to yourself cause chances are, you weren't asked for it. Remember that life is not black and white. You don't know what's going on in someone else's world, so don't make judgments for them. THEY will stand before God regarding the choices they made for their kids, NOT you. Live your life as an example. A successful life with God-fearing, happy, healthy children should be all the argument you need.

IIII'MMMMM BAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAACK!

No we're not dead. Just ridiculously and insanely busy. Sunup to sundown is spent working our tails off on "projects". Well actually, it's more Russ that is doing the "project-ing" and it's me that's running interference with smaller creatures of our house, furry and skinned. And by running interference I really mean cleaning up buckets of urine between the house-training puppy, the weak bladdered Chippy, and the four-year-old who often replies "Just a yiddle" to the question "did you pee?" Some day urine will no longer rule my life.

Here are a few things you may have missed whilst we were gone (and I say this as if anyone actually reads my blog and I have followers who are waiting with bated breath for me to post something, anything that would interest them. Just give me my fantasy people):

• Most obvious: We have a new address. It's awesome, or will BE awesome when the freezing cold winter and construction projects are all over and it's painted and pretty and done. Which were pretty much banking on that being July of 2014. Everyone has to have a goal. If you want to see the progress, Check HERE periodically. I have stupid rural internet, so pictures are not something that upload nicely. You can also see some of the "before" pictures HERE. Side note: We moved in on a random Tuesday, so finding help to move was not really simple. My mom took the WEEK off to help us pack and move...THE WEEK! And my brother so graciously took the day off work, and my future-brother-in-law stayed an extra day to help move. I came home and both boys (I say boys cause I am sure that I outweigh them both) had COMPLETELY emptied one truck and were starting on the other which they COMPLETELY emptied before Russ got back with appliances. They used getting Russ's approval to my advantage;) Nice.
• Christmas happened. That lead to a new furry family member which I documented in a previous post. Honestly...hands down...best puppy ever. Were still dealing with a few "puppy" issues, but he's been pretty awesome. He gains about a pound a day...a POUND A DAYYYY! Yikes. You can see how big he is getting and how fast he is getting that way HERE. That would be the mobile uploads album on facebook for those of you who are not my friend. Periodically I will also upload funny pictures of sheer randomness.
  
• New Years happened. And when that New Year happened, I gained a new soon-to-be-brother-in-law. Yeah! He called me on New Years Eve (while I was building a wardrobe insert and hadn't showered in what seemed like 12 years) and asked on a whim if I would give him some advice on ring shopping. I finished building said crappy Menards wardrobe, jumped in the shower, and rushed to meet him. He picked an insanely gorgeous and sparkly ring, tied it around Millie's neck and popped the question at midnight. Super cute. There are pictures documenting it all and it is pretty special. If you don't know who Millie is, that is Diana's cat (ironically who's real name is "Millenium" since SHE came around New year 2000) who also seems to love ham sandwiches.
• Menards owns us. Jerks. Single-handedly I think we are keeping their employees employed.
• Still struggling with the dizziness, and it seems to be a tad worse. I just have to push through it as time is not something I have to go and make attempts at figuring it out. I've done a good job of masking it, most people don't even know it's bothering me when it is. I figure if I pass out while in conversation with someone, at least they'll know I wasn't just faking it. And I can sue those hookers at Carle for passing the buck.
  
• My Grandma is trying to kill me. Seriously. She keeps giving me donuts and coffee cakes and bread and all the sugary, carb loaded crap she can find. She "says" it's for the kids so I don't have to worry about breakfast in the morning and it's quick and easy. I basically have a freezer full of cake people. Cake. I might as well have a freezer full of crack or heroine. If you cut me, I would bleed powdered sugar right this instant. Between that and the People magazines, she's trying her best to turn me into one of those poor people who have to be fork-lifted out of their homes just to go to the doctor, where I will be surrounded by empty boxes of Entemans products and People magazines from 1998. Don't get me wrong, she means well. The poor woman just doesn't understand. I mean, she gets "texting" and "tweeting" mixed up. Here is a conversation we had just not that long ago.
  

Gramma: Misty, tweet your mom and ask if she is stopping by.
Misty: I'm not on Twitter gramma. Do you mean text?
Gramma: No...tweet her, you know, send her a message?
Misty: Yeah...that's texting. Tweeting has to do with Twitter, which is basically
like Facebook and another way for the internet to rule people's lives.
Gramma: Oh, well don't do that. You guys spend to much time on that
internet anyway. Just call her and ask her. Nobody picks up
the phone to call people anymore.
Misty: Ok...I think she's in a meeting still, but I'll call her and leave a message.
Gramma: Oh don't do that...just tweet her. She'll get it later.
Misty: Sigh.....ok.

• Still on my photography hiatus, but BURSTING with excitement about starting up again. I have a couple sessions scheduled in Feburary, but I will probably not jump in full time until March. This property in the Spring so promises to bring some amazing shoots, I just cannot wait. I'm waiting and praying about the direction that I need to take this year. Last year was a constant game of catch up. I am going to have to do things different this year. It is no longer a hobby...it's a job. It's a business. It's how I'm feeding my family, or paying for my car insurance and quite frankly that is going to have to come with a price increase. Nothing drastic, but I can't hide behind the "I'm just starting out and want to build my portfolio" excuse anymore. I think if I figured it up, last year what I made and the hours put into it, I basically made $.50/hour. Half of a dollar. Ridiculous.

So....that pretty well sums up life right now. We have amazing family and friends that have been INSTRUMENTAL in helping us get to where we are. Without you guys, we would still have the moving trucks parked in the barn full of crap:)

Happy Valentines Day!

We go from one holiday to the next it seems....sigh. So much has happened in the last two months that I've wanted to blog about, but it took a backseat. Ah well...such is life.

I loved bokeh things (photog term) and wanted to try something new for some shoots I have coming up. I also wanted to give my "guys" parents and grandparents a little Valentines treat:)





I took some of them by themselves, and then decided to take one together. Literally, Chuck put his arm around I without any prompting and gave him his own buddy hug:) Gotta love their bromance!




Happy Valentines Day everyone!

Jesus at Walmart?

I decided to go grocery shopping yesterday for the first time in about 12 years (or what seemed like 12 years according to our cabinets). After hearing on the radio that my store of choice, which is usually Meijer, was having some big back-to-school bash, Walmart quickly became my only choice. It was unusually quiet which was strange because it was 5:30 in the evening and usually a really busy time. It was just Tater and I, so I got through everything pretty quickly while she was "resting" in the front of the cart.

We get to the check-out lane and the guy in front of us was a little unkempt looking.....and that is probably being nice. He hadn't shaved, cut his hair, or probably showered for about 5 years, and he was wearing an orange robe/tunic looking thing. By this time, Mae was wide awake and begging for candy bars. She looked forward, noticed they guy, and started pointing and yelling "LOOK MOMMA!! It's an ORANGE JESUS!!" I was doing my best to give her "the face"...you know "the face" moms. It's the "dear GOD please stop pointing and embarrassing me" face. It's the "be quiet before I get into a confrontation with a rather scary looking person" face. I was shooshing her and begging her to stop talking...all with "the face". She didn't notice the face and refused to quiet down until I acknowledged that she truly did see an "orange Jesus".

Fortunately, I don't believe the guy was with it enough to hear her, or he was just being nice and not acknowledging that he heard her which if that was was the case, was kind of Jesus-like:) The check-out lady, however, did hear her and was laughing hysterically as if she had been holding it in for about 12 years. She informed Maebree (as did I of course) that was NOT in fact Jesus.

kids.....*sigh* Their perspectives are pretty interesting. We don't know what Jesus looks like, but I am anxious to see if he looks like my Maebree's "Orange Jesus" or more like my "Passion of The Christ" Jim Caviezel Jesus. I'm hoping the latter, but probably neither.......

Carris wheel/Gary-go-round

That's what Mae-Mae calls the carousel at the mall:)

My photo shoot on Saturday was canceled due to the weather, so I decided to take the kids to the mall to ride the carousel and practice some action shots. In retrospect, standing on a moving carousel while trying to take pictures is not a good idea for someone with vertigo. Not a good idea at all. But, I think we got some cute stuff regardless.

Mae was thrilled, Em is at that age where she was thrilled but is trying to be cool like she's not, and Faith....well....she was a great sport:)

I'm pretty sure that Faith's face says "Mom...I'm 9, I'm too old for this".

She insisted on the tu-tu. She wears it EVERYWEAR!

WWWEEEEEEE!!!!

Mom, don't worry, I got this.

I love that you can see her reflection (barely) in the mirror.

As you can see....not thrilled with the prospect of leaving. I guess we will just have to do it again!

Naughty kids

I implemented a new discipline technique today. Maybe I will actually get something done.

Ok, I'm totally kidding. Caleb moved Essie's (who was outside at the time) food and water bowls out and climbed in himself. Mae was jealous I was taking pictures of him and climbed in with him. Isaiah wanted nothing to do with either and kept saying "come-out kids!" to both:)

But maybe it's not such a bad idea;) And maybe I'm watching too much Lost. At least I'm not feeding them fish biscuits left over from the polar bears.

One rockin' night

Have you ever just cranked the music and watched your kids dance around and attempt to play instruments? They are just sure that what they are "playing" sounds exactly like the song. So that's what we did tonight...man...Saturday nights take on a WHOLE new meaning when you have kids:)

Maebree has her rockstar face on.....