No...it's not the hair color

I get asked almost daily by people who know me how the dizziness is "going". It's really a funny way to put it.."hows the dizziness going" as if I'm building a house, or making a craft, or attempting to accomplish something. And my response (as I'm a firm believer in positive confession) is typically (if caught on a good day) "can't wait for the manifestation of my actual healing". The reality is that I struggle with it on a daily basis. Daily.Basis. Not that vertigo, room spinning, I'm gonna throw up or I can't do heights (though...I can't do heights) kind of dizziness. It's more like when your under water and your holding your breath and its' that moment of "crap I better get air now or I'm gonna drown" kind of dizziness. I feel short of breath and sweaty and creepy. It's so awesome (sarcasm drip drip). My favorite response from people is "well...you ARE blonde". OMG and Wow. Amazing. That is information I was not aware of. I mean...here I thought I was paying my hairdresser to make my hair purple. Dang. She is so fired. And the blond jokes..really? I had a stranger come up to me as I was leaving a baseball game and ask me if he could tell me the funniest blond joke I ever heard. I told him no. His drunk-off-her-butt date said SHE wanted to hear it so I got to hear it anyway. Jerk. Coincidentally...it was not funny.

Another question is "have you seen anyone, like a doctor, about it?" Usually that gets a huge laughter response from me. Um...yeah. Just a few. No one can fix me. I got some relief through the chiropractor (go see my cuz...he is AMAZING!), and should be going more regularly, but nothing has "fixed" it. I saw a neurologist cause they thought it would be wise due to Diana's recent diagnoses of MS. He was a complete...er....butt. And that's being nice. There was a language barrier to begin with, so that immediately frustrated me. I couldn't understand half of what was said, and the other half he said with such a condescending smile that I wanted to throw up allover him. He kept saying "MOOOST women come in here and think "AH...I have MS..I'm so dizzy, my arm is numb" and they just don't have MS". Ok..that exchange didn't go over...you have to hear it in my head because I hear it with an accent and if I typed it like he said it...I would end up on some government watch list and probably would be arrested for a hate crime. He ended the very brief visit with "Well...it's not a tumor, it's not MS, not cancer. It's nothing big, so I don't have answers for you". It was at that point that I took a page out of my mentor, Jack Bauer's book and jumped out of my seat, grabbed him by the back of the head and repeatedly slammed it into the computer desk over and over. Then I ran to the door, threw my coupon for Rosetta Stone at him and pulled the fire alarm thus evacuating his practice. Ok...almost none of that is true, but it did go down like that in my head. I did leave in tears of frustration over the fact that I am not even sure he looked at my file or my MRI and once again...I don't have anything to tell all the people that ask on a daily basis if I'm still dizzy.

So.....square one. Still there. I deal with it. There are things that I can't do that is frustrating (ie singing, talking for more than 10 minutes at a time, etc). But...I have the assurance that "it's nothing big" from an esteemed neurologist at Carle Clinic...so...I should be comforted by that right? Right. And next time you see me...please....refrain from the blond jokes. I've heard them all. And they are not funny.

Fog

I'm in a bit of a fog today....I was REALLY in one yesterday, it's that fog that takes over after you've been up all night hugging the toilet. And that is not something I do often. My body rejects even the prospect of puking. I just can't do it. I've tried even making myself do it because I KNOW I will feel better and sleep better after, but it doesn't work. Boy did it work Saturday night. Whoa....I don't know if it was the massive consumptions of food from our conference at church, or what it was, but I.was.sick. I slept until 3:00 yesterday, woke up, had a bagel, then went back to sleep 'til 6:30 was up a couple hours and back in bed. Today I am much better and in a disinfecting mood.

BUT.....all that to make a SHAMELESS plug for my cousin's business (who is constantly making shameless plugs for me on her blog:) is to say that the dizziness and *most* of the head issues I have been having are so so so so SO much better. I saw an ENT doctor a couple weeks ago who diagnosed me with BPPV (a form of vertigo). She also said I have some fluid/hearing issues that they would follow up with me about later (still haven't). I felt ok for a couple days, but woke up the next Monday with some major dizziness. I had decided to go back to seeing my cousin's hubs, who is a chiropractor. What a difference a cracking makes! I walked out of there feeling like the *fog* I had been in was gone. So....strange.... I've been going back on schedule and keep feeling better and better. I even jogged two times last week (not just around the block, over 2 miles each time!). I still have some hearing issues, fluid in my ears, just nasty stuff. Noise really bothers me. Low noise, like base guitars and drums and low-voiced women;) But I'm doing much.much. better THANK YOU JESUS!

So....if you need a chiropractor, go see Dr. Jeff Melby. He's great, and not just 'cause he's family. I honestly haven't felt this good since last year. Plus, he is probably the cheapest guy around if money's an issue. You can get an adjustment (or as I say "cracking" cause it sounds funner) for $20 which is cheaper than what most insurance copays are anyway!

The report is in

First of all, thank you to all who prayed for me. I got report this morning that my x-ray showed that the worst-case-scenario is not what the problem is, and basically, I just need to make some dietary changes for a month and see if that works. The frustrating thing is that I already eat a pretty healthy diet, but at this point, I will be as drastic as I need to be. So yay for good reports!

After my x-ray yesterday, I went over to my sister-in-law's crib to take some official/unofficial 3-month pics of my nephew, Eli. He cooperated so well, we were done in like 20 minutes! So I thought I would share some of my favs.....

This one is my absolute favorite, so I had to add the bw,

and color versions of it:

And for a baby who does not like being on his tummy, I thought he cooperated well:

And last but not least.....WHEEE!!

Jon calls him their little koala bear...he so stinkin' cute isn't he!?

Radioactive

Yep...that's me. I am currently radioactive. I have had gut "issues" ever since Emmy was born and my lower intestines just don't seem to like me all that well. I was actually bedridden for two weeks after she was born due to an excruciating amount of unexplainable pain that I was in. I had test after test that all ended up being inconclusive, and the major pain subsided after two weeks. Now it comes in spurts. I had it pretty miserably when I was preggers with Mae, and I actually saw the gastro-doc for it, but he couldn't do a lot for me because I was pregnant and there simply isn't much they can do safely. So I have dealt with it off and on for the past two years and decided I needed to get back in and see Gastro-doc again. I have seen this doctor before, but for whatever reason, I had to get another referral just to get an appointment.....and after all the rigmarole of getting a referral, I find out he isn't even scheduling for two months out!! GRRRR! And they say nationalizing health care is gonna make it better??!! IDIOTS! So I ended up scheduling with a PA who was absolutely wonderful. He took plenty of time to get my history and scheduled me for this X-Ray which is where I am today. I had to swallow these radioactive marker pills for three days so that they can see what's going on in my guts. Pretty cool.

If you think about it, please pray for me. I don't really know at this point what I want. If they don't find anything, we are back at square one...if they do...well....none of the options seemed good to me for that, but at least we would have a jumping off point as to what to do to make it better. I know that ultimately God is my healer, and I will accept that healing anytime now:)