Ratchet face

Kids these days......

As were are exiting Walmart, the classy joint we frequent at least 3-5 times per week, Faith makes a comment that its sad that it used to be you were greeted when you  entered and greeted when you left. Now it's just two women (I would say they were in their late 40s) talking about how one girl they know is so "ratchet".  Here is how the convo went from there:

Me:  ....Wait.  Ratchet?  As in a wrench?
Faith:  No.  As in she has a "Ratchet face"
Me:  So she was beaten with a ratchet?  Like is her face all bruised and bloodied?
Faith: No mom.  It means ugly. You've really never heard "ratchet face" before?  Girls say it all the time. "So" and "so" and "she" and "she" are always talking about how ratchet faced this other girl is.
Me:  I'm still confused.  Does she have an ACTUAL RATCHET tattooed on her face?  Because this still makes zero sense to me.
Faith:  Mom.....
Me:  So.....girls say "ratchet face" when they are describing someone as ugly. You don't use this language do you?
Faith:  NO!!  I'm just saying lots of girls at school say it.
Me:  Are they from the south side of Chicago?  Or East St. Louis?  Or even like......Champaign?  Because really.....they do know they live in CENTRAL Illinois in the podunkiest town around are are surrounded by corn fields.  Not "the big city".
Faith: Yes....they just think they are cool.
Me:  If I ever hear you use terminology like that your grounded.  Unless you are describing an ACTUAL wrench.  Or a Transformer.  That was a Transformers name right?   Anyway...not just because it's mean (and it is.....so don't be that way) but mainly because you sound RIDICULOUS.  And like you don't have a complete grasp on the English language.  And no kid of mine will be associated with that.
Faith: Don't worry mom.......


Don't worry???!!  So, this is a thing.  I even googled it and it's in the Urban Dictionary and everything.   I still am confused by how what once was a tool name has become a description for an ugly girl, but what the heck do I know.  I mean, the ratchet wrench is the one with all the accessories right?  And there is NOTHING UGLY about a tool that has a lot of accessories.  NU-THING.

I really thought I was one of the "cool" moms.  I have a handle on the lingo of the kids these days.  I use terms like "Cray-Cray" and "Totes" and "Adorbs", even "Totes Adorbs" at times.  I have decided that I'm going to come up with my own terms. Here are some options:

"That girl, she's a real 'ball-peen' bisnitch"
"Why they gotta stick their needle nose all up in my face?"
"I'm gonna punch you square in your flare-nut grill"
 "We as cool as a chisels my pisels"

That last one is an homage to my good friend Snoop Dog.  Feel free to start using any of the above in  your day to day conversations.  You don't even have to give me credit for them if you don't want to. In fact, I'm going to explicitly request that you don't.  On a more serious note, if you hear any of your teenagers using language such as "ratchet face" Please...DEAR GOD PLEASE correct them.  Or ground them. Or tattoo a picture of an actual ratchet on THEIR face.  That'll teach them.