They do. Tomorrow I go in for my second colonoscopy in my whole 34 years. Everyone gives me the "awe......I'm so sorry" schpeel and I'm all "Shoot don't be sorry! It's time off work for the awesomest drug induced nap EVER!!" It was also an excuse for me to eat an entire box of gluten free pop tarts as dinner last night. In case your wondering, they taste like cardboard until you make your own icing and smother them in it. Then they are delicious. Even the prep, though I'm not a fan of Gatorade, is not bad. At least I have a purpose in the bathroom and I am tearing UP some netflix on my iPad mini.
What's horrible is the clear liquid diet. I don't remember feeling this awful last time. My whole shaky body is PA-ISSED I am not feeding it. I tried "eating" some beef broth with a spoon to trick it into thinking I was having soup, but it's not buying it. Oh well. I have an excuse to hang out in my orthopedic bed (not to far from the bathroom) and chill for two days.
All jokes aside, I'm really hoping to get some solid answers. I've had blood tests and nothing has been conclusive, so I'm hoping this produces something I can attack. I'm tired of hearing I just lave a lazy colon. Like most colons, I'm sure mine likes to hang out on the couch and eat chips and watch tv, but there is more to it than that and I would just like the medical professionals in charge of my care to figure it out already.
Now I'm gonna go drink another box of beef broth. Stop it with your insane jealously already. It's unbecoming of you.
No comments:
Post a Comment