It's official.......

Not much phases me anymore. Imagine making a delicious batch of gluten-free banana peanut butter brownies. Then imagine the excitement of getting to take one to work with you the next day because your sugar addicted family didn't eat them all. You open that delicious zip locked wrapped brownie and notice that something else is in the bag. Something white. And tooth like.

Yep. It's a tooth. I should've prefaced this with the fact that every child I have lost a tooth last week and mommy was in the hole big time for tooth funds. I had just settled up and there was dang teeth like.......everywhere. Apparently I grabbed the zip locked that contained one precious gem.

Here's the unphased part: I shrugged my shoulders, dropped that tooth in an envelope like it was hot and went to town on that brownie. I'm not gonna let a little thing like a baby tooth get in the way of my desserts. Maybe I've reached that point, though I think cupping your hands to catch vomit is that "point" and Lord knows I've done that.  I think Im just a selfish dessert eater. Especially when it's one I CAN eat.

I would've provided photographic evidence of this, but apparently teeth is a hot-button gross-out issue for some as many of the people I told dry heaved into their mouths. Wussies.

Admit it.....you thought this was gonna be a way cooler post. No where in your head did you imagine toothy brownies.

It's all fun and games until someone gets their eye shot out.

That didn't really happen, but it made ya look didn't it?  

If you move down like 2 whole posts below, you will see that we had gotten Faith a bow for her 12th birthday.  That was almost a year and a half ago, but I digress.  She had fun playing with it, and would head out to shoot every now and then.  We found out about a little archery club that the kids would participate in, FREE OF CHARGE  mind you, and all they have to do is show up and shoot stuff.  All three girls could participate too which I thought was going to royally peeve off Faith as archery is ONLY her thing, but she thought it would be fun for all of them to do the activity together. Sunday was their first day and the little two LOVED it.  Mae EVEN hit the yellow on the target a couple times. Mind you, it was not the target she was supposed to be aiming for, but really...I mean who cares.  Just look at how cute she looks in her lil leg warmers and hoodie listening so intently:) 

Emmy getting her instructions from the arrow guy

Listening to the instructor talk about safety

Getting her arrows ready

 

Waiting for the whistle to let them fly!

 

 

 

Cutest archeress ever in her leg warrmers:)

Faith was a little spicy due to the fact that it had been like 6-7  months since she had even shot her bow and of course it was EVERYONE ELSE's fault she was doing so poorly, even at one point I think blaming the dog for breaking her concentration the last time she went out to shoot 6 months before. This went on for about 45 minutes until one of the instructors gave her some pointers on her stance and lined her up better and then she proceeded to hit the yellow almost exactly in the same spot every time.  Then it was fun.

Looking forward to next week!

Ratchet face

Kids these days......

As were are exiting Walmart, the classy joint we frequent at least 3-5 times per week, Faith makes a comment that its sad that it used to be you were greeted when you  entered and greeted when you left. Now it's just two women (I would say they were in their late 40s) talking about how one girl they know is so "ratchet".  Here is how the convo went from there:

Me:  ....Wait.  Ratchet?  As in a wrench?
Faith:  No.  As in she has a "Ratchet face"
Me:  So she was beaten with a ratchet?  Like is her face all bruised and bloodied?
Faith: No mom.  It means ugly. You've really never heard "ratchet face" before?  Girls say it all the time. "So" and "so" and "she" and "she" are always talking about how ratchet faced this other girl is.
Me:  I'm still confused.  Does she have an ACTUAL RATCHET tattooed on her face?  Because this still makes zero sense to me.
Faith:  Mom.....
Me:  So.....girls say "ratchet face" when they are describing someone as ugly. You don't use this language do you?
Faith:  NO!!  I'm just saying lots of girls at school say it.
Me:  Are they from the south side of Chicago?  Or East St. Louis?  Or even like......Champaign?  Because really.....they do know they live in CENTRAL Illinois in the podunkiest town around are are surrounded by corn fields.  Not "the big city".
Faith: Yes....they just think they are cool.
Me:  If I ever hear you use terminology like that your grounded.  Unless you are describing an ACTUAL wrench.  Or a Transformer.  That was a Transformers name right?   Anyway...not just because it's mean (and it is.....so don't be that way) but mainly because you sound RIDICULOUS.  And like you don't have a complete grasp on the English language.  And no kid of mine will be associated with that.
Faith: Don't worry mom.......


Don't worry???!!  So, this is a thing.  I even googled it and it's in the Urban Dictionary and everything.   I still am confused by how what once was a tool name has become a description for an ugly girl, but what the heck do I know.  I mean, the ratchet wrench is the one with all the accessories right?  And there is NOTHING UGLY about a tool that has a lot of accessories.  NU-THING.

I really thought I was one of the "cool" moms.  I have a handle on the lingo of the kids these days.  I use terms like "Cray-Cray" and "Totes" and "Adorbs", even "Totes Adorbs" at times.  I have decided that I'm going to come up with my own terms. Here are some options:

"That girl, she's a real 'ball-peen' bisnitch"
"Why they gotta stick their needle nose all up in my face?"
"I'm gonna punch you square in your flare-nut grill"
 "We as cool as a chisels my pisels"

That last one is an homage to my good friend Snoop Dog.  Feel free to start using any of the above in  your day to day conversations.  You don't even have to give me credit for them if you don't want to. In fact, I'm going to explicitly request that you don't.  On a more serious note, if you hear any of your teenagers using language such as "ratchet face" Please...DEAR GOD PLEASE correct them.  Or ground them. Or tattoo a picture of an actual ratchet on THEIR face.  That'll teach them.

Ridiculousness

Not to be confused with the hit MTV show "Ridiculousness" (not that I have ever seen an episode, I'm sure my life is none the worse for it).  Ridiculousness is my post title because that is y excuse for such a long hiatus. 

 I took some time off. Does anyone even blog anymore?  I mean, I know people do, but it was all the rage years ago.  I guess life gets in the way and you suddenly have more important things to do than document your life's happenings.  Which is really sad because I have found as you age, parts of your brain fall out of your head and you simply do not remember anything anymore.  For example, I can't even remember what I ate 20 minutes ago or if I've peed since I left our house.

So in an effort to be better about this documenting thing, I need to commit to this. My poor kids will ask me things and I can't remember. That was the whole reason I wanted to even do this, for them, something for them to refer back to and laugh or cry or just want to kill me for five minutes for embarrassing them. My mom gave all of us girls a book to write more things down in, and I can't even remember to do that.  I think I just didn't feel like putting forth the effort last year.  I didn't think I had anything worth sharing, which is ridiculous because our kids need to see the hard stuff too. The year 2012 was really not kind to us.  We went through a horrible loss personally, I started a new job, kids in school, Russ worked more overtime than ever; just finding the balance was hard.  Then 2013 came and it was better......but busier. I was hired full time at the U of I,  Diana got married and moved on over to Decatur and we were hugely involved with that, I found out I am gluten and soy intolerant thereby making a very interesting diet change.   We are still finishing up huge projects in the house (almost done!!!  HALLELUIAH!) Faith and Em became Cross Country superstars, we bought a new vehicle that we have affectionately named "Adele", and  we went on a HUGE and AMAZING Florida Vacation (you can see the pics HERE and HERE), I waged a war with Luke Bryan and my  husband grew a ridiculous mustache of which was featured on our Christmas card. 

So bring on 2014.  The stache is long gone (thank you JESUS), I have new hair, and if we can ever kick this stupid Arctic winter we seem to be having, I think it's gonna be a good year.  I will be better about blogging, if for no one else, but for my kids.  All my Facebook friends, it might be a lot of the same.  Sorry for any duplications, but my kids aren't allowed on Facebook, as people tend to be idiots there. 

What will 2014 bring for you?

Faith's Golden

I have got to get better at this blogging thing. I either need to be better, or just stop altogether, either way.....

Faith turned 12 a couple weeks ago. Because I'm so on top of things (sarcasticgigglesnort) I'm posting about it two weeks later!

We discovered last year that she developed this love of archery. Since we live in an awesome small community where they don't outlaw ridiculous things like that, they were taught about it in P.E. at school and she said she showed some promise. We thought nothing of it, just maybe that was cool. We took a small family trip one weekend and stopped at a Cabelas and spoke with one of their archery specialists there.  He took her into this room, fitted her with the same bow they used in school, and let her fly...and she did....dead center every time.  After we picked our jaws up off the floor, and the specialist guy informed us she did have some talent, we knew what her birthday present would be.

We did a super fun Hunger Games themed party (and by super fun, I mean we did squirt guns and pools filled with blue and green colored water and water balloon wars and paint filled balloon massacres, not like actual gladiator style slaying of children for the benefit of a corrupt government...just in case anyone wanted to get all "judgey" on me) She turned 12 on the 12th of 2012, so it was her Golden and we did it up RIGHT!  Any chance for a "themed" photo shoot is awesome for me, so I worked up this little ditty of an invite, and we were on our way!

She's turning into this........grown young woman. She looks so old in those pictures it freaks me out a little!  I have a billion more pics from the actual party, but Verizon is a dirty tramp and it literally took about 20 minutes just to upload that one picture of the invite.  Someday I will have actual working technology out here....some.day.

We celebrated with 12 girls and boys the Friday before her birthday, and then celebrated with our families on her ACTUAL birthday and it was an amazing, fun and completely exhausting weekend.  I would do it all over again for her. She is such a good kid. She works really hard to rise above all that stupid preteen middle school girl CRAP that seems to just want to jump allover kids these days. Seriously......as I was told by someone once, dealing with middle school girls is like living on the dark side of the moon.  They're mean and manipulative and catty and I honestly want to punch most of them in the face if it were socially acceptable to do so.  I can honestly say that the group we had here (and there were 10 girls in that group!) were all fun and carefree and just genuinely seemed to have had a good time. No fighting, no whispering, no backstabbing, no leaving anyone out....just good clean (well....not clean clean since everyone left soaking wet and covered in paint) FUN.  We need to do that more, just show our kids that we CAN have a good time with them and their friends.

She ended Sunday night (the night she got her actual big, nice bow) by showing all the family how good she is at shooting.  She did really well til her arm got tired, and I think she shocked a few.  She hit dead center right from the start and my father-in-law chuckled and said "lets see if she can do that two times in a row"....she showed him, and he said "Well!  Guess she can!" She refuses to every kill an animal and says she'll never hunt with it, and that's totally fine. I'll continue to buy her foam targets for her to practice with:)

I have to now end this post since Verizon has shut me down like 8 times from the last two paragraphs.  A lot has changed since the last post, mainly I got an "actual real live job" and am taking a bit of a break from the photography.  Maybe forever, maybe not. It's just nice to have someone else responsible for my paycheck for a while.

Catch up

I feel like I'm in a constant state of "catch-up".  Except nothing...NOTHING is getting caught up on.  I run and run and run, and nothing happens.  The heat is playing a factor as well in that all you want to do is sit in front of an air conditioner and pant. And it's making us all...er....irritable?  Yeah...that's a good word for it.  Irritable.   In fact, the other night as we're all piled into the car, the kids, Russ and I, and the hundred-something-pound beast all in the back of a glorified station wagon.  Russ is out pumping gas and the kids are just pick pick picking at each other. Mae elbowed Faith in the face for like the 137th time in 3 minutes and I literally turned around and through gritted teeth and in my scariest voice said "Maebree...I SWEAR if you DO that again....I..will CUT you".  I have no idea where that even came from but she was not amused.  The rest of the kids and my husband were highly amused and laughing, but she actually believed me a little. I may have to break that out again in the future.

So, here's some bullet points of what's goin' down with the Houston's the past month or so...

• The House: Still working on it.  There are times I actually wonder if we bought The Money Pit. You remember that movie with Tom Hanks and the chick from Cheers?  "Two weeks!"  I hear it over and over and over again except two weeks has turned into months and months and still I have no closet or kitchen floor (well, I have a kitchen floor, but the new floor is sitting in the family room) and there is foil foam boards over my large windows because putting in the french doors is just not in the budget this year cause everything else came up and we have to deal with those issues first.  And were busy.  Like...reeeeeallly busy.  I just want to finish all the other projects we started so we can take a break for awhile.  I completely realize we have our entire lives to "finish" things...but I like things to be done and checked off a list.  I don't even feel like I want people to come over because it's still in construction phase.  I can't wait to at least get our room stuff done, then maybe I can post before and afters of those small things.  
• The Kids:  We just celebrated Emmy's 9th birthday, and we celebrated Mae's 5th a few months ago. I can't even believe this.  Faith will be 12 on the 12th of August in the year 2012 so we of course will be planning a fun party for that.  This summer is flying by.  We went camping a month or so ago, and it was...not a vacation but still fun.  Russ took on a racoon in the middle of the night, and we did get to do a little swimming in Lake Michigan, but it was kind of chilly and we didn't get to swim much. Isn't it gorgeous there?  Why do we drive 14 hours to Panama City Beach, Florida every year?  Geesh.....

They will all be in school this August. Everyone asks "What will you do?" and my honest answer is....I have no idea.  I really don't.  I'll discuss this more in the "job/career" section. 

• Jobs:  Photography is something that I love, but right now, I just don't like it very much. It's become a job, but people still treat me like it's my hobby. And it makes me zero money. Raise your prices you say?  Well I did, but then I get complaints that "Your getting pricey....I have to think about it" or my favorite "I'm gonna just get an 8x10 and I'll order more later and later never comes.  That's not a problem, except that I spend an awful lot of time per session (maybe a solid 25-30 hours from shutter click to upload) and when its all said and done, a $12 order just kills me.  It's frustrating. And I'm not sure if your aware of it, but EVERYONE is a photographer now.  DSLR cameras are affordable to most these days, and it's just one of those things people don't want to pay you to do it when they can "take just as good a picture myself" *sigh and typed with a hint of sarcasm* I've applied to several places, and we'll see what happens.  I have no plans to get a job til the kids actually start school, and I'm just praying that God will just intervene and the right situation (if getting a job outside the home is the right situation) will present itself.  We're fortunate in that Russ has a great job and the hours will enable us to not have to worry about childcare except maybe 1-2 days a week, and maybe only for an hour. Faith is getting to the age where she can babysit, so....we'll see.  I don't know.  I take each season of my life in stride and with a grain of salt.  Is this the end of my season at home with the kids, or not?  Ok...that just choked me up a little....
• Russ and I: We just celebrated (well....I guess we didn't "celebrate" because he was at work and again, I was chained to my desk) 15 years from the day we met.  Ah...that fateful day.  A coworker wanted to introduce us. He described Russ as a "not too tall, kind of 'stocky', country music loving, blonde hair, brown-eyed country boy" who was "perfect for me".  IF you knew me back in the day (well..and today even) you would know that was in fact NOT my idea of a perfect guy.  I walked in expecting to see a short, dumpy hick with a cowboy hat and spurs and I see this clean cut, muscley, perfectly dimpled smiled hottie and actually said the words "dang...if it doesn't work out with the fat guy, I will take him".  Thank God that fat guy never showed up, and the rest is history:) 
• Health:  Well....I'm frustrated.  I have dizziness pretty much frequently. Again, I can mask it well. If you are talking to me, you'll notice I'm leaning on something typically.  I've gained about 30 pounds since last December and nothing fits (thanks stressful house renovation) so were trying to excersize more, but it hard to even get through a workout. I try to get up and walk the dog, but it's dang hot.  And he doesn't do heat well.  IIIII don't do heat well.  So it's a bad combo.  I've ben dieting and excersizing for about 2 weeks and have lost zero...read....0.none.nada.zilch.nothing pounds.  And THAT REALLLLY makes me mad.  I feel like I need to make a blanket apology to the world:  Dear World. I'm sorry, I'm off the sugar. Which means Cake.  Which means you get to deal with a seriously witchy (read slightly psychotic) me for the next...oh....3 months. Maybe that's another reason I threatened to "cut" my daughter. 
• Beasts:  We almost got another giant. Like....put money down on him and it was t-minus one week and counting til the day we were gonna meet and bring him home. Moses momma went and got herself knocked up again (those two crazy pups can't keep their paws off each other! :) and looooong story short, the largest pup became quickly available due to a mixup with the original guy who was gonna get him.  For some reason, we thought...yeah, lets do it.  I mean...Moses is awesome. He was a fairly easy guy to train.  He's lazy and sweet and loves our kids.  I do want another, and it's the same parents, so lets just do it. So we did, put a deposit on him and waited.  Some friends and neighbors to my mom put a deposit on another in the litter and this would be their first. Their first pup together, their "Baby Brinks".  Then that week before they were due to come home, Little "Brinks" developed some stones in his boy parts and had to be put to sleep.  Can you even imagine having to make the decision to have your little sweet puppy put to sleep before you even had him in your arms?  UG.  When it didn't look good for him, Russ and I just looked at each other, shrugged our shoulders and said "yeah" with that knowing look.  I let her know if she wanted to take ours, they were welcome to him. We still have our puppy, he's just north of 110 pounds. I knew God's hand was in it because we didn't tell a soul (except a few family members).  We couldn't even think of a name for that little guy, and it was all, I'm convinced because he was never meant to be ours.  We were just meant to "hold" him for them so that when this situation arose, they wouldn't have empty arms.  So now they have little "Brinkley" in honor of his brother "Brinks" and in a few months Moses will have a playmate that he can actually play with on his level:)  Speaking of Moses...I'm just gonna say this: I wouldn't advise anyone...ESPECIALLY a male to just "show" up at the house.  He's taken on this role of "protector" and he very well might eat your face;)  He's pretty protective of us. Were working on it, but I do have to remember...this is what he was breed for.  Back during the Wars, these dogs were breed to stay home and protect the women and children, so they just gravitate towards that. It's in his DNA.   If you wanted to meet him...its a process.  He's not a dog you just go up to and start petting and getting in his face (you shouldn't do that with ANY dog fyi), that makes him nervous. I say all this and he just graduated puppy class with flying colors;)  He's not aggressive, but when that hundred-something-pound beast starts charging down the road at you, lips flying and teeth showing (only cause his lips are flying...he rarely shows his teeth) he can be pretty intimidating:)  I must say...I feel pretty safe walking around with him.  I rest pretty assured knowing nothing will try and mess with us! All that being said, don't you just wanna get up in that face?  ug:)

I think that pretty well covers most of whats going on. I know I've missed something. I don't really even care if anyone reads this, sometimes it's just therapeutic to actually type it all out. I have to go and do about 1000 things today before we get to go and sweat our booties off for cookouts and fireworks.  Happy Independence Day!  

Sweet Emmy-Lou

A ridiculously large amount of time ago, May 29 to be exact, my #2 turned 9.  I can't even believe that she is 9 now, but I guess that's what happens when you feed them, they grow.  She is our beauty queen. I can't even look at an image of her and think "Wow....wow wow wow...WHY are we not capitalizing off of this?"  I mean, yeah, I know I'm a little bias, but she's just stunning.  Everyone says she's the spitting image of me, but she's better cause she's got the best parts of her daddy as well.  She can thank him for those dimples, that cute button nose, and the thick, amazing head of hair.  

She's grown a lot in the past couple years, and I'm so proud of the young woman she's becoming.  We love you Emmy-Lou!!